Table 4 Three

Episode 15: Herro! Welcome to the Christmas Table!

Mister, Nini, Shawn A.

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0:00 | 1:17:01

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Holiday shopping rarely goes to plan—especially when “get something for the kids” turns into “also, I bought myself sneakers.” We open with the honest math of gifting grown children, the pain of Lego pricing, and why cash plus a clear conscience might be the most adult move of the season. From there, we veer into delightfully absurd and uncomfortably real territory: a one-man dating app that strips away competition, a cliff-pact logic puzzle about trust, and headlines that push every button—rabies via organ donation and a funeral home allegedly giving a grieving father a bag of brains instead of clothing.

Beneath the jokes, there’s a throughline: systems either protect people or they don’t. We dig into rare neurological twists like foreign accent syndrome, then draw a sharp contrast between Japan’s fresh, cooked-daily school lunches and America’s processed cafeteria model. The difference isn’t just culture—it’s policy and priorities, with childhood obesity rates to match. If we can design an efficient vending contract, we can design a menu that nourishes growing brains.

We also take a hard look at parenting and consequences through a “scared straight” story that ends in tragedy. Intent collides with a system unfit to keep a minor safe, and the result is devastating. That conversation isn’t about blame; it’s about building interventions that work—therapy, mentoring, structured programs—and custody protocols that never put teens in harm’s way. We close with fantasy football highs and heartbreaks, because even in December, the waiver wire giveth and taketh away.

Come for the laughs, stay for the questions that linger: What do we owe our kids—money, time, advocacy, or better systems? Press play, then tell us where you stand. If this episode made you think or smile, follow the show, share it with a friend, and drop a review so more people find a seat at the table.

With your support Table 4 Three can improve.  We are looking for donations to reach our goal of a thousand dollars.  But let's make this fun!!!  Whenever someone donates $10 or more, they will receive a shoutout on our next episode.  The person who has the highest donation can choose which Table 4 Three member gets a pie to the face...to which will be aired on our first video podcast.  As always, we love and appreciate your support.

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Holiday Welcome And Carols

SPEAKER_02

Welcome to the table. The opinions of this podcast are for entertainment purposes only. Our thoughts and views are not to be taken personally.

SPEAKER_15

It is not that serious. We are trained professionals at being regular ass people. If you can't take what we serve in, this is not the table for you. Reservation denied.

SPEAKER_02

Enjoy the show. Enjoy it. It is about that time, ladies and gentlemen. Tomorrow. It's Christmas.

SPEAKER_12

And I hope y'all got all y'all Christmas shoppings done.

SPEAKER_05

Probably not.

SPEAKER_02

Got young kids. I know you out there. Shopping should be easy, but hopefully you ordered it early. And Bezai can't order it. Send it to you until after Christmas. Hopefully you got it in early. Welcome back to the table, ladies and gentlemen. And Merry Christmas. You already know we had a ticket in.

SPEAKER_12

Take it away, Mary. I mean, Mariah.

SPEAKER_06

Wow.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Prospero año y felicidad. Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Prospero Ano y Feliz Night.

SPEAKER_10

I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas.

SPEAKER_13

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_12

We are in the season.

SPEAKER_13

Now the jingle pop has begun.

SPEAKER_02

Alright. Jingle bell time the gift that you're looking for.

SPEAKER_13

Jingle bell time.

SPEAKER_02

Or you might be the present. Or you might be the past.

SPEAKER_13

In the frosty air. It is the colour season. Nice snowfall. The gold black snug it up with the white piece. Jingle round the clock. Mix and a mingle in the jingle and feet. That's the jingle bell haride.

SPEAKER_15

Jingle my way, Sailor.

SPEAKER_05

Jingle, jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle, jingle jungle.

SPEAKER_15

Alright. Jingle, jingle, jingle all the way.

SPEAKER_02

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the table for three. Um man, it is Christmas. Tomorrow is Christmas. Mericrima. Feliz Navidad. Whatever. I don't know if I can roll the D. Oh wow. My wife is good at rolling the D. Um if you if you're new to the show, I am Mr.

SPEAKER_15

I am Nasty Claus, that womenini. And I am Mike's Heart Lemonade. Also known as Sean Anthony.

SPEAKER_02

Hey, yo.

SPEAKER_14

What flavor?

Last-Minute Shopping And Grown-Kid Gifts

SPEAKER_02

Original. Welcome back to the table. Um listen, it is the holidays. Um anybody got any vacation coming up? You probably do, because you're a little bit vacation. Oh, I do. What a lead-in. Right? I'm on vacation. My vacation starts today. Uh after New Year's Eve, uh, I got Christmas off, and I'm not going back to work until the 5th of January. So for me. My vacation starts next week. Yeah? Yeah. And Department? I'm on it. Oh, oh yeah, you're on it? On vacation. Oh, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_15

What else would he be on?

SPEAKER_02

You already know what he be on.

SPEAKER_15

No, I just want to be on a small rocket ship.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. See how you see how offended he got? Anyway.

SPEAKER_15

Pass it through the sky. Line style.

SPEAKER_02

Did everybody get their uh I did everybody do their shopping early and got what they needed to get or as much as you're gonna get for this year? What shopping?

SPEAKER_15

Now I got a little something to do today before the day's over.

SPEAKER_02

I got a little something to do too.

SPEAKER_15

You could call me a super last minute person.

SPEAKER_02

Well, I got I got my I got I got people some stuff. It's not my kid's grown, so it's like fucking. Do you find it easier since they're grown or hard? Yeah, I just give them money and get out my face. Like, you know, here, here's a gift card. Can I be your kid?

SPEAKER_15

You know what's crazy that I realized have enough.

SPEAKER_02

Oh shit. Just playing around. Yeah, we're just gonna go past that.

SPEAKER_15

Um no. You know what I realized though?

SPEAKER_02

When you think about it, it's not snow, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_15

When you really think about it, older kids are more expensive than younger kids. Although the amount of gifts is less than what it was when they were children. Oh, you because the type of gifts you mean? Right. So, like, like you said, mister, you getting your kids gift cards, but that would would you not giving them$25 gift cards? Like you're giving who said no, he said, don't count my pocket. They be lucky to get 15. I'm just saying, like, you know, when you really think about it. Like the older kids are more expensive than you know, yeah, to a degree. Because I mean, my my my son. I mean, you're actually right. My son, he was like, he wanted like a MacBook Pro, and I'm looking at him like, get a job. Shit.

SPEAKER_02

But nowadays, I mean, like, look at the price of fucking Legos. They're the price of a MacBook Pro. Yeah, for real. That's that is crazy. That is true. It's wild. And I want to get Legos for myself.

SPEAKER_15

They're so expensive. They're expensive too. That's why. Because adults play with them. Yeah. I mean, they're the only reason why they hike the prices up like that.

SPEAKER_02

They in our era, all the good toys and cartoons and all shit, all that shit came through in our era, right? So it's like those toys and Legos and all them things that used to just be like fit five dollars back when we were kids, as we grew up and still love to play with these things, they bumped the price up. Yeah. Like y'all adults now, y'all pay adult money for it. And then it sucks for the younger kids because now we ain't gonna get it for them because they don't take care of it or or you know, you know, right type of stuff.

SPEAKER_15

But really, if you like really, really think about it, Half and Kids really ain't thinking about it like that though. Like some of these kids still look at little tinker toys and have a ball with that. Like, remember, I know my kids were small, and we used to get them gifts, and they play with the boxes that the gifts came in more than they played with the actual damn toys. It was like, uh what?

SPEAKER_02

Wait, what? Your kids play with the boxes?

SPEAKER_15

Yeah, because you know, you be imagined, you use the imagination. They make little forts and shit out of it and all that stuff. So it's like, yeah. Not just like, oh, this box is great. No, not like that. My kids ain't sponsored. Don't do that.

SPEAKER_13

I'm just saying, like it I pick stuff up and put stuff down, mama.

SPEAKER_15

Like if it's a big box, they inside of it just like and then it's a car.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, if it's a big box, yeah, like not that's a concentration camp on Christmas. It's like a baby. Locked up.

SPEAKER_15

Like, Bobby.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I can understand, like when I was young, I used to kind of just play with everything because you had nothing.

SPEAKER_15

I know how that just registered.

SPEAKER_03

You caught that right off the backboard.

SPEAKER_04

It's like, ooh, ooh, dick. Wow.

SPEAKER_02

But yeah, I mean, I we didn't have like phones and shit to keep our interest. So imagination is pretty much all we had. Um, now these kids is like, you know, you give them something they like, they probably mess with it. Like when my kids was little, they play with it a little bit and then they go off. And then go to the next. Yeah, it's like their attention span is not even that long. So I have to say, I am thankful that my kids don't require much, and I don't really have to spend much money on them. They're just thankful for being home. Yeah. I mean, swimming in acid.

SPEAKER_14

He said you got gut issues.

Toys, Legos, And Attention Spans

SPEAKER_03

They got a never-ending pool to swim in.

SPEAKER_15

Oh, you're a wild guy.

SPEAKER_13

And welcome back to the table.

SPEAKER_15

You're a wild guy. Yo, that is a wolf. I mean, if they're never mind. Go ahead, finish that. I was gonna say, is it really the table for three?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, there's a table for 18 million. That's so inappropriate. Charles speaks for a lot of people. In many language. Oh, you got culture. Your culture.

SPEAKER_15

Your culture. I'm shutting up because that all right was crazy. Yeah, I know. All right.

SPEAKER_02

He's gonna tag us both back. Oh my god. Both back. Shalom. Shalom. Anyway. You got the languages. What else I was gonna say? Uh I don't think you should say it. No, I don't got any stories. You always go. Oh, I I did go Christmas shopping. Did you? I did. Um, I bought myself a lot of stuff. Oh my god. Did you really? Mostly sneakers, because I got the gammas, I got the Jordan 11 Gamas, and I got the Jordan 8s. My wife don't know about the Jordan 8 yet. Wait, so let me let me ask this.

SPEAKER_15

That said.

SPEAKER_02

All the Christmas shopping you did for yourself, did you tackle the Christmas shopping for the people you were going to buy for you? Yeah, I did that early.

SPEAKER_14

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02

I did that early.

SPEAKER_14

I don't believe them.

SPEAKER_02

My wife was like, hey, I got all the stuff in the cart. Can you put it on your thing? I was like, Alright, cool. Then I was like, I'm gonna buy myself some stuff. So I bought some stuff for my car and some sneakers. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna pack I'ma wrap them up and and have it like to me from Sienna. From Santa Assumption. I don't know. Yeah. From Jamal. From Jamal Christ. Anyway. I mean, is it is it okay to do that though? What? Self-love? I bought myself Christmas gifts. Is that really? Yeah. Yeah. It's not a when your kids older, you kind of get them the necessaries.

SPEAKER_15

It doesn't matter either way. If you buy your kids something, you can still buy yourself something. When you just like fuck them kids and buy yourself something.

SPEAKER_02

But no, I've I've done that before. Uh see, and then I think me and my wife got like an understanding is like your gift coming after Christmas. Like, yeah. It's at this point. Sorry, I got sneakers. No, no, but her gift is is gonna be much more expensive, so it has to wait a little bit. So every kiss begins with K. Oh no, it's not that type of damn. No, it's something that she really wants, though. A dildo. Three of them, but nah, that's she got those. Three.

SPEAKER_15

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02

She got those. All in one.

SPEAKER_15

Like it's what kind she got, let me know.

SPEAKER_02

It's the double-headed one and then look how you about to break it down. The details. Moving on.

SPEAKER_15

You know what I've always wanted? I probably uh satisfaction.

SPEAKER_02

I don't get no, that's not how the song go. No, it's just created his own.

SPEAKER_13

Satisfaction. It was like, I don't get one.

SPEAKER_15

You know, never mind.

SPEAKER_13

What?

SPEAKER_15

No, we want to know. No. So do our plus ones. Yeah, I'm sure they do.

SPEAKER_02

No, go ahead.

SPEAKER_15

No, it's it's it's it's come on, it's the holidays.

SPEAKER_02

You never know. You never know. You never know what kind of fans you got out there. I know. I mean, put it all on the table.

SPEAKER_14

No.

SPEAKER_02

They want they chose you to pie me. We still gotta pie you. Yeah, I know. You have you yeah, you still gotta pie. You need to be pie. Well.

SPEAKER_15

You need to be pie. Well no, but what gives you? You're gonna get pie. No, I'm not gonna say what I get for you. Oh, God. Anyway. Yeah, let's move on. I'm not gonna say it. Alright. That's too freaky for our audience.

SPEAKER_02

Oh. She wants her butthole whistled in.

unknown

What?

SPEAKER_02

Why would I want that with that?

SPEAKER_15

Why would I want that when my ass can whistle on its own? Why is it whistle? Wait. Is that a good thing? Is it supposed to do that? That's talent.

SPEAKER_02

Oh.

SPEAKER_15

Is it a whistle or more like an echo? Like a home. No, it's a whistle. There's no echo there.

SPEAKER_02

It's like smuss, muzz, muzz, uh.

SPEAKER_15

No, that's pretty sealed up.

SPEAKER_05

Not sealed.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I mean, I got the area 51. Oh my god. This bitch ass is the Vatican. You need a key card. You need a key card. No, I should need a five.

SPEAKER_15

Is that what it sounds like?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

That's your whistle?

SPEAKER_15

No, that was the key while.

SPEAKER_02

Anyway. What's going on in this crazy world of ours?

SPEAKER_14

Outside of my ass.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, okay.

Self-Gifting And Relationship Banter

SPEAKER_02

So interesting story. There is a gentleman by the name of Aaron Smith, 31-year-old from North Carolina. And he has launched the dating world by storm. Not really. So he created an app not really. Called Singularity. And he says it's after he got tired of fighting for attention on the traditional dating apps. So his solution was to create his own and he removed all his rivals. So women who sign up, they only see different versions of him. So there's new photos. I gotta say. So every time they swipe, it's just a different photo of him, a different profile. Um but he said originally it kind of started like a joke, and then it kind of just took off. Um, but he was like, Look, there's no algorithms, there's no competition, just me. So um genius. Yeah, and he was gonna say, yeah, I I mean that's smart.

SPEAKER_15

That's yeah, yeah. It's funny though. It is funny, but it's smart. I mean, you can't be mad at that. Right. Because you know, even if he was to keep it up as a joke, I'm sure there's mad women that's gonna be. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you know it. Right. Somebody's gonna click like that's the only option. And somebody might be his cup of tea.

SPEAKER_15

So he might get a lot of cup of teas. Mm-hmm. I know it's just him. He might get a lot of whistles. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02

Air look sounded like it's sucked back in.

SPEAKER_15

That's what it does. That's why I said, why would I need somebody to blow in it?

SPEAKER_13

She was like, I can do it myself. I don't need you. Singularity.

SPEAKER_02

Now, what'd be funny is if somebody got the app and went on there created their profile and they were someone else. They created multiple profiles with different pictures with different pictures.

SPEAKER_15

I mean, like, the match made of heaven. And it's the match made of heaven right there. They perfect for each other. Right? Can't argue with it. Same humor, same everything. You are the daddy.

SPEAKER_02

Now, Nene, I mean if you look at his picture, would you s would you would you uh consider a date? I mean, I this used to be a type. No, that never was my type.

SPEAKER_15

Is he he's what? He's what? His last name is Smith. Oh. Oh. Yeah, that's not my type. Oh but he's not ugly. But that face, if that was the face, or the ass.

SPEAKER_02

He's not getting a swipe. I'm hoping that he didn't use that picture.

SPEAKER_15

Or that shirt. But um, he's not ugly. What's wrong with the shirt? So he's not ugly. What's wrong with the shirt? It's just saying it doesn't it it looked unkempt. It's just saying I don't really give a shit.

The One-Guy Dating App Debate

SPEAKER_02

Oh yeah. Like that matters. There's no effort. And I don't know if that's just a picture that they took of they chose or if that's an actual picture that he's using. Um because I'm sure it almost looked like a um a mugshot photo. Like he just got arrested.

SPEAKER_15

Right, and I'm assuming that that has to be a picture they took of when they talking to him, and he was just like, Well, I did it as a joke.

SPEAKER_02

Right, right. Cause even like his facial expression, it don't look like he's like posing for it.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah, like, oh, pick me. That's not um pick me to. I'm sure he looks different. Yeah, because he's not ugly. He's not an ugly person. He's cute, but that just ain't it. Yeah, I caught that.

SPEAKER_02

We'll delete that later. Merry Christmas. He said that on the last episode. It was still in there. We've said that on every episode. Oops. All right. That's intentional. I mean, he went through all the trouble of creating the app. Yeah, why not? Why not? Why not? No, I wonder if he charges. That'd be smart. Like, it'd be free, like for the first time.

SPEAKER_15

For the chicks to use the app. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Pays for the date right there. Pays for the date right there. He can take them out, pay for the date because he got the money from then anyway. Yeah, get out of here. But like you think about it, would you if you went and got on the app? Because think about it. Like, if I'm just on my phone and I'm like, oh, you know what? Let me go see what dating apps is out there, and I'm in the Play Store or the Apple, you know, whatever. And I find this one a singularity, and I'm like, oh, you know what? Let me see what that is. And I download it on my phone. Would I pay if I found out that all my options was only this one man? No. Unless you're desperate.

SPEAKER_15

Right. Unless you're desperate.

SPEAKER_02

I'm seeing if it's a real act. What was his name? Aaron Smith.

SPEAKER_15

He probably was up when he took it down. Why? Because he said he only did it for a joke and then it went viral.

SPEAKER_02

Oh shit. No, I just literally favorites and shit. You goddamn fast as hell.

SPEAKER_15

Let me see the the picture he put up there though.

SPEAKER_02

That's worse than the one.

SPEAKER_15

I saw a glimpse of it and I was like, wait a minute, let me see.

SPEAKER_02

Yo. He should have used a way different. Picture, like, mmm. This is my good side, bitch.

SPEAKER_15

He probably thought that's not my good side, bitch. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02

Well, get it out you live, brother. Hopefully that works out for you.

SPEAKER_15

But I I see it. Like, I would post that picture as a joke, too.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. He could have like just some filters or touched it up or something.

SPEAKER_15

He probably got better pictures in that. He do look like he do got that. In a dent in his forehead.

SPEAKER_02

Not a dent. I ain't heard. I heard. I thought something. I thought you said something different.

SPEAKER_15

But a dick on his forehead.

SPEAKER_14

Yeah, I might say.

SPEAKER_02

Well singularity.

SPEAKER_15

Yo.

SPEAKER_02

What's next?

SPEAKER_15

So a couple. Shut up. I always gotta clear my throat. We've been doing this for three years. God damn it. Two or three years. So anyway. What y'all think about this? A couple decided to end their lives together. After a rough life. They decided to jump off a cliff.

SPEAKER_02

Like, yo. Like that's a mean ass period. Like she be like, you bet not move. Like, what?

SPEAKER_04

She'd be like, a couple decided to kill themselves.

Cliff Pact Thought Experiment

SPEAKER_15

Like, okay, I'm sorry. So y'all just want to read from now on? No. And with you to read. I can't. My mind moves too fast.

SPEAKER_12

I get it sometimes. No, you don't.

SPEAKER_15

So a couple decides to end their lives after a rough life. They decide to jump off a cliff. The jump bitches always talk about I talk too goddamn fast, so I'll be trying to slow the shit down. No, they're slowing down and there's pausing. The dramatic effect. Fuck y'all. Okay. Anyway, they decided to jump off a cliff. When they got to the top, they both counted to three. The man jumped, but the woman stayed. She was watching him fall for about seven seconds and then saw a parachute open. Oh so now the question is who cheated whom? Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02

Oh shit. So she didn't have a parachute, but she wasn't in a channel. He cheated her.

SPEAKER_15

I don't know if she didn't have a parachute. I think she probably Is this a real story? She probably knew. I'm gonna say he cheated her. No? Because he jumped with the thought process that she was gonna jump and he hadn't.

SPEAKER_02

Premeditated knowing he had no intentions. Whose idea was it? She could have, she could have got to the edge and at that moment made the decision like, oh shit, I'm not doing this. He went and premeditated. Or she came up with the eyes and gear. Or he she could have came up with a hey, let's go jump off a cliff together and decided not to jump just to see if he would jump.

SPEAKER_15

So I'm gonna say this, and truth be told, I honestly think they both had no intentions of killing each killing their self. I think that they went in like, bitch, I don't like you. Man, I don't like it. Oh my god. Because it says they had a rough life. Why they do that? Why even go for that? It says they have a rough life, but we don't know if it was to the point of the rough life was just the situation between them two. And instead of being adults and just walking away, they decided to jump away. So it's either who brought up the actual thing first, because if that's the case, then their intentions was, I'm gonna tell this person that I we should do this together because we love each other and life's too hard, with the intent of I'ma let them die and I'm gonna live my life happily after that. Like, if you think about it, like who who thinks that? Like, you're gonna, I'm not gonna go to my husband, like, you know what, we had a rough life. I think we should take each other's lives. That's stupid.

SPEAKER_02

A comment says, one of the comments, it says, the woman can argue that she had a change of heart last minute. God told her not to jump, etc. The man, though, that was premeditated.

SPEAKER_06

See, that's what that's fine.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god. Yeah, one says, both of them cheated. The man brought a parachute and the woman brought common sense. The only loyal one was the mountain.

SPEAKER_04

It stayed.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. That's crazy though, right? They should have held hands and jumped together at the same time. If I was stupid enough to want to jump off a cliff, you holding my hands. Yeah, we hold it. We hold her hands. We go your parachute is now our parachute. Yeah, for real. We are going together.

SPEAKER_15

And that's why I'm saying, like, who thought process was that? Like, was it the husband trying to get rid of the wife, or was it the wife, like, I'm gonna let this food jump and I'm gonna stay back?

SPEAKER_02

But how did they watch? Somebody had to come up with the idea.

SPEAKER_15

Listen, like, could what that's what I'm saying. But the thing is too with her, why are you just watching him? Like, you're not like, oh my god, I did it, do it. Or just you ain't stopping pre-medicating. If you have like a, if you have like a, oh, I'm coming to Jesus moment, and you like, mm-hmm. Like, oh my god, baby, do it! You're like, no, we're not gonna do it, honey. And but she just goes, he goes, and she's standing there like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I wonder how long it's gonna take for him to get to the bottom, and then the parachute comes out, she's like, holy fuck. So he had the bottom being, she saw his backpack, had a parachute in it while they was hiking up the mountain. First of all, that's the truth. Like, why? Because why would you have a backpack on? Right. You're hiking. No. Oh, if your whole entire.

SPEAKER_02

Just in case I gotta eat lunch. You make some s'mores.

SPEAKER_15

No, sir. I mean, there are you planning your death, you ain't hungry.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, it's them, so you know, you don't you don't know.

SPEAKER_15

You hungry planned your death? Who eat who think about eating?

SPEAKER_02

I mean, they do.

SPEAKER_15

Like, oh god, I'm so starving before we die. Let's hurry up and have this meal. People on death.

SPEAKER_02

That's not their choice. Things that's fighting. Why do they do what they do?

SPEAKER_15

Some people on death row.

SPEAKER_02

Eat a sandwich before they jump. Some people. Yeah, some people. Some people want lasagna and banana put and finana.

SPEAKER_15

That's because they axed. They're axed. Imagine if they're not axed, they're just dying. No, there are. They asked. And on death row, they're axed to if they want to eat. I'm saying it the nigga way. You got a problem with it, Becky. I don't know none of those. You got a problem with it, Becky. Say father.

SPEAKER_12

Father.

SPEAKER_15

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

Anyway. Um, they're both idiots. Yeah. No, they don't. I don't know.

SPEAKER_15

No, they I don't know if they were idiots.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, at the bottom of the mountain looking up, and she down there looking down. She up there looking down, like, put their hands up, like, yeah.

SPEAKER_13

Like, you selfish set of a bitch. And he was like, bitch, you didn't jump.

SPEAKER_15

I don't think they're idiots.

SPEAKER_13

It's over.

SPEAKER_15

I think they just didn't have no trust for each other. Side eye the other, like, because whoever brought the idea up there was like, I'm gonna just go along with this shit. You wanna die, bitch? Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02

But why even go along with it? Like, why go jump? Why make it all the way to the mountain? It was it was her anxiety. She needed emotional support.

SPEAKER_15

So he was like, he probably had life insurance.

SPEAKER_02

They probably pro like on her, or he had one on himself.

SPEAKER_15

Like he had one.

SPEAKER_02

She knew about it. Oh. I thought you meant he had one out on her, and that's why he had the parachute so that when she died, no, that's what I was thinking as for her.

Rabies From Organ Donation

SPEAKER_15

That's why she stood at the top, like, mm-hmm. Yeah, but we went up there to parachute. I know.

SPEAKER_02

Cliff dive and all that. I'm gonna go down there and I'm gonna put a um a damaged parachute on her back.

SPEAKER_04

Like, I got you, babe.

SPEAKER_02

Shit got like metal logs in it. Metal logs. I don't know.

SPEAKER_15

Like, cause why is that?

SPEAKER_02

A metal log?

SPEAKER_15

Honestly, like if you come out of that whole situation, why are you telling anybody that's what y'all's gonna do? That's true.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know.

SPEAKER_15

So who went to the media?

SPEAKER_02

Now you on suicide protocol, like how the fuck this make it to like social media. They probably told somebody. He was like, I went to kill this nigga. Nah, I went to kill anyway. That's just interesting. So everybody get your rabies shots. So there was a man from Michigan who has died from rabies after receiving a kidney from a donor that unknowingly was infected. So the person. Yeah, I know. So the person receiving the kidney, he had no exposure to animals. Um, but five weeks after the transplant that he got, he developed neurological symptoms and he later died. Um the testing that they did ended up confirming that he had rabies. So after investigating, they re-examined the donor's history and learned that that donor had been scratched by a skunk, and the the family says that the skunk has showed um predatory aggression. And nobody thought to say that sooner? Look, um the fact that they had to re-examine is a problem. And they said that weeks later that donor had collapsed, was declared brain dead, and his organs were used for transplant. Idiots.

SPEAKER_15

Can you still use the no, you can't use the organs because they was contaminated.

SPEAKER_02

Say that again.

SPEAKER_15

No, I'm just like catching up. But you No, no, no, because he's the organ donor. So the person who received his stuff is the one that ended up with the rabies.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Yeah. But the the original person that got scratched.

SPEAKER_15

Right. So his organs was infected.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and they didn't they didn't properly fucking search or do good blood work and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_15

Okay. I mean not blood work, but Yeah, all that. A proper eye talk, sir.

SPEAKER_02

But evidently this isn't the first time that that's happened. Which is crazy. This is the fourth documented um from a rabies transmission in the same place in the US since 1970. I'm about to say from the same place.

SPEAKER_15

I don't know, somebody got some splain in the door.

SPEAKER_02

It is rare, but that's kind of crazy.

SPEAKER_15

But you know what else it is, too? It's the fact that people don't say what happened to them or go to the hospital for shit that has happened. Like you get I'm sorry, I get scratched by a skunk. I'm not gonna be like, yeah, don't say nothing, don't get no medical attention or nothing. I guess, you know, some people. How do you bleed in? You still bleeding a week later. That's an issue.

SPEAKER_02

So he had to be squared up with the skunk. It said he was protecting a kitten. That's why that's stupid shit. Fucking kitten? What is he gonna do? Eat the kitten?

SPEAKER_15

He's still a living rabbit. Okay. You don't want the kitten. The kitten is a baby.

SPEAKER_02

I don't like cats. 18,000 in litters.

SPEAKER_15

I don't like cats either, but what?

SPEAKER_02

Cats be having like litters of like 18 fucking.

SPEAKER_15

Oh, you got how many kids? Sacrifice one. You got a certain amount of kids you gonna sacrifice one?

SPEAKER_02

Sacrifice one for the for the human race. Not for the greater good. For the greater good.

SPEAKER_15

You gonna sacrifice one of yours?

SPEAKER_02

Um a kitten?

SPEAKER_15

No.

SPEAKER_02

We're talking about kittens here.

SPEAKER_15

I don't have 18,000 kids.

SPEAKER_02

Well, you do. Well, that's true. You do too. And you sacrifice a lot of it. I do rest in peace. And you never came back with ravi. I know you might wow. Wow. Wow. You're on a roll. Toasted.

SPEAKER_15

I I don't believe that you see your pet about to get attacked by another animal, and you're gonna just ignore it. Can we get past it? You nasty bitch.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, all right, yeah, alright.

SPEAKER_02

Well, we're just saying he needs the skunk to save the kitten, and you died. That's not what I said, but I'm just saying, I'm that's my synopsis of the story.

SPEAKER_15

No, because you're a horrible person.

SPEAKER_02

He fought the skunk to save the kitten. It's not that he was fighting. He wasn't mud wrestling.

SPEAKER_15

Right. Like, he could have been like, shoo. You know how people black shoe.

SPEAKER_02

She could have gone to go like pick the kitten up off the ground and it lunged at him. Yeah, and it, yeah. Yeah. Not that he was like boxing. Yeah. He was like, put him up, put him up.

SPEAKER_15

Hold on, cat. You're not gonna save your dog from like a possum trying to attack it, a possum that possibly has rabies. A rabbit raccoon. You're not gonna go grab your dog real quick and he killed his dog before. Oh, that's true.

SPEAKER_03

The fact that I laugh and not like exactly. I did not kill my dog. I was fucking alive on Christmas. That's oh my god.

SPEAKER_02

Jesus. What? Not for you, dog killer. I did not kill no dog. Um no. I mean, my my dog wouldn't. I mean You can't say what your dog would be. Yeah. It wouldn't be outside. It would be in a fence. What? Fenced in yards. Don't climb fences? I don't know. Who don't know?

SPEAKER_15

I was coming up with some finish acid area.

SPEAKER_02

No, because I would have pre-planned the apocalypse of rabbit raccoons and they would have eaten my AI version of my dog.

SPEAKER_15

He's like, no, my drone would have flew down and picked him up. I would have been a bit safe. We all safe. Shut up.

SPEAKER_02

There's ways. Of course there are. Shoot the rabbit. The rabbit uh shoot the rabbit. Shoot the rabbit animal. So everybody got a gun? I mean, you don't want it to spread, so you you you kill the rabbit animal. And then call the um the animal, please. Not everybody knows anybody can spot a rabbit animal. Anybody believe it? If they're super aggressive, that's not how you can tell. Because some animals are just super aggressive. Well, they're getting shot.

SPEAKER_03

I thought he was rabbit.

SPEAKER_02

Well, because they gotta foam out their mouth and be shaking like a crackhead. You can tell.

SPEAKER_15

No, you can't. You can't tell.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, rabbit.

SPEAKER_15

Yes, you can.

SPEAKER_02

They don't always foam out the mouth.

SPEAKER_15

Especially if it's like the early stages of.

SPEAKER_02

They start walking in on their hind legs and beating their meat. They don't they rabbit.

SPEAKER_15

Your obsession with meat beating is crazy.

SPEAKER_02

Almost like you with Sean. When you rabbit, you just walk behind legs, foam at them off and beat. That sounds like that's something you do.

SPEAKER_05

It does sound like he was like really.

SPEAKER_04

I did it last weekend. I believe it. I believe it too. I don't think that was phone. Oh shit. And I don't think it was last week. It was yesterday.

SPEAKER_03

I don't think he had enough meat.

SPEAKER_02

Oh shit. It was a slim gym. That's nasty. I don't know if I ever asked y'all this question. Would you rather super long and skinny or super short and fat? You have. I did. Mm-hmm. You have. What was your synopsis?

SPEAKER_15

What was your what was your preference?

SPEAKER_02

If a female have they got super long nipples.

SPEAKER_03

That was good. That was quick. It was quick. I couldn't even I couldn't even respond properly. I was like, oh shit. That was good.

SPEAKER_14

Thank y'all.

SPEAKER_02

All right now. So what was it? Y'all rub it off on me. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Anyway. Yeah. That water came out your nose. That was funny. Yeah, I got on my nerves. Anyway.

SPEAKER_06

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, protect your pets from the rabbit animals.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah. But are you really protecting your pet?

SPEAKER_02

No.

SPEAKER_15

I didn't think so.

SPEAKER_02

I don't have a I have a fish. My fish gave rab rabbit rabies and shit. You know what? Come on now. And I was just biting the water. It's too old. Oh no.

SPEAKER_15

I can see your fish hopping out, hopping out the fucking fish.

SPEAKER_14

Fuck my girl.

SPEAKER_03

Get your goldfish out. Leave the kids in there.

SPEAKER_13

Don't the fish.

SPEAKER_02

And they wonder why he's running out with a parachute on his back.

SPEAKER_13

With a slip chip. Where's your mama?

SPEAKER_02

Follow man. Whack them all.

SPEAKER_15

Where do we go?

SPEAKER_02

Uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_14

Where where do we go?

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Yo, we are so I tried to get it together so I could talk about this next one. Why the fuck did we go there? I don't know. Anyway, go ahead.

SPEAKER_15

Oh my God. So unhinged. So a San Jose funeral home is facing a lawsuit over an alleged and deeply disturbing mistake involving the mishandling of human remains. A father claims that after his son's death, a funeral director gave him a bag that was supposed to contain his son's clothing. When he later opened it at home, he discovered it instead contained his son's brains. How the fuck? It's often said that no parent should ever have to bury their child. For one San Jose family, that imunge imangible unimaginable grief has been compounded by what they describe as a horrifying error by a funeral home. How did you wait?

SPEAKER_02

How do you do that? You read it so perfectly and so fast, I couldn't catch up. So mustard. Relish. Um so the funeral home put the brain in a bag?

SPEAKER_15

I'm sure they probably bagged the organs that I'm assuming.

SPEAKER_02

And gave it to the parents? It was like, hey, uh It's weird.

SPEAKER_15

But penny for your thoughts. They asked for the clothes. Sir. They asked for the clothes, and the guy gave them brains. That's horrible though. Can you imagine? But what if it wasn't their son's brain? What was the plus sign? Well, they're close to his shut up.

Foreign Accent Syndrome Story

SPEAKER_02

He was always in his thoughts. Like, I mean, he I mean, they frame anything now. I mean, they frame that that old lady in a in a um coffee table. So they could have done something with that. That was on purpose. Yeah.

SPEAKER_15

No, they didn't want their son's brains. They wanted his clothes.

SPEAKER_02

Right. That's horrible.

SPEAKER_15

So how do you mistake soft clothes with squishy bag? I'm trying to figure that out. And I know that bag had to be dripping. It's brains.

SPEAKER_02

Not dripping.

SPEAKER_15

But I'm saying it's brains. It's not like it's that's nasty.

SPEAKER_02

I was gonna go somewhere.

SPEAKER_15

I bet you was. Deep in thought. Go ahead and say it. It's bothering you. Just let it out. It does look like it's bothering me. Right? You just have to say it. Just go ahead. Let it out.

SPEAKER_02

Let it go.

SPEAKER_15

So let it go.

SPEAKER_02

I ain't got nothing. I'm just saying. That's a first. So brains in a bag. What's gonna call it bag brain? I mean.

SPEAKER_15

It wasn't a bag of bones, it was a bag of brains.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Anyway. Did they give the brain back? Like would you keep it? I mean. I would be mortified. Yeah, I mean, that's sad. Like, how old was the kid again? That died? Yeah. The one that lived.

SPEAKER_15

Well, the one that had lived, he was um a newborn. He was 27.

SPEAKER_02

Oh. Wait, the the the brain came from the 27-year-old kid?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, he had an adult brain. That's that's crazy. Did it matter? No, I'm just I didn't know if it was adult or a child, child.

SPEAKER_15

Well, they said child because a kid is always your child. No matter how old they are, that's your child. If you look up the definition, that's your child. Yeah. Okay, don't be like Santana and don't know what the words mean. Santana?

SPEAKER_02

He likes one of them animals out in the wild that they only keep their kids around for like the first two weeks, and then it's like you on your own, get out the pack. It was developed. Like, I taught you how to fly. Goodbye.

SPEAKER_15

What does the development of the brain have to do with the fact that they handed this man?

SPEAKER_02

They shouldn't they, you know. I hope they sue. Did they sue? Did they say anything?

SPEAKER_15

It doesn't say if they sue. They won't comment. The parents, they're just they're still distraught, so they haven't commented.

SPEAKER_02

So this is recent, recent.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh wow. I would have screamed. How? Like, what would it sound like?

SPEAKER_15

That's how it would have came out. That was an ass whistling.

SPEAKER_02

And then it sucked back in.

SPEAKER_14

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_02

Anyways. I was trapped in my ass. What? So there's an interesting story. She got a brilliant man trapped in her ass. That is not a good thing. I believe it.

SPEAKER_15

That is dominant.

SPEAKER_02

Her husband doesn't seem to be too brave.

SPEAKER_15

I mean, if he got stuck in there.

SPEAKER_04

You gotta wait for the next wherever the wind blows.

SPEAKER_02

Get out of here. So it was an interesting story.

SPEAKER_14

It's an older story, but I just thought that just thing was just so funny.

SPEAKER_02

And there is um there's audio to it, but so there was a woman from Devon, England, Sarah Colwell, and she suffered from a severe migraine that ended up triggering what doctors call foreign accent syndrome. So when she woke up, her regular accent that she had had completely vanished, and it was replaced by what sounded like a Chinese accent, even though she had never been to China or studied the language before. Mm-hmm. So the the condition is incredibly rare. Um, it's caused by damage to the parts of the brain that control speech rhythm and tone. Um, it doesn't mean like that the person like just suddenly speaks the new language, but it just changes how their voice sounds. And for some reason, she became a Chinese woman. Um let me see, I think I got it here. They said like even like years later, her voice never went back to what it was. Oh really? Yeah, so I think she had to end it up getting like dual citizenship.

“Scared Straight” Tragedy And Systems

SPEAKER_15

Somebody was at her door, she's like, Why mean it? Sarah, hero.

SPEAKER_10

And now it speaks with a permanent Chinese accent.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, well, you're not because yeah, I just think that's crazy.

SPEAKER_07

And now it speaks with a permanent Chinese accent. It wasn't until I was in the ambulance on the way to have the dog until he said, You're aware of the way you have to be there. No, you sound like you can work in a Chinese writer.

SPEAKER_03

Robota Robota You know, I think that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_02

It's not funny, but it's funny. Like, can you imagine?

SPEAKER_09

That's what she sounded like.

SPEAKER_02

O'Clocky O'Clocky. That's what she sounded like now.

SPEAKER_14

Why is he like this? Hello.

SPEAKER_02

And she's all the way white.

SPEAKER_14

She's yeah, she's British.

SPEAKER_04

British? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02

All the original whites. And she had she had her her she had her normal accent from over there. Um and now she's multicultural.

unknown

Oh God.

SPEAKER_02

When she ordered Chinese food, they make her feel better because she's ten extra minutes.

SPEAKER_15

They both go back and forth. Hurrow, hello, hello, hello. I turn left now. Um yeah, okay. It's horrible. This is wild.

SPEAKER_02

That's horrible. Yeah. Hey.

SPEAKER_13

Welcome to the table, ladies and gentlemen.

SPEAKER_02

Um refer to the time at the beginning of the show. Most of this is not gonna make it, so I thank God.

SPEAKER_15

Okay, what's next on the dock? Well, when you have parents who are sick and tired of their children not acting right and decide to put their foot down on certain situations, but it backfires. Is it on the parents or how it happened? So I'm gonna read the story. Liam Ashley was just 17. When his parents made a decision they thought would scare him straight. After a string of minor offenses and using their van without permission, they denied him bail, believing a short stay in custody would teach him a lesson. Instead, he was locked inside a cramped prison van compartment with a violent adult offender who never should have been near a teenager. The door shut, the van pulled away, and Liam was trapped in the dark cuff, in the dark cuff with a mentally unstable man capable of killing. Somewhere along the highway, the inmate launched a brutal attack, strangling and stomping Liam while shouting, F and die. This guy is taking ages to die. By the time the vehicle stopped and the guards rushed to open the door, he was barely clinging to life. He passed the next day. Was what was meant to scare him straight only showed how dangerously broken the system was, and Liam ended up paying with his life.

SPEAKER_02

Bet you ain't won't steal another van. He can't. Without permission.

SPEAKER_15

He can't.

SPEAKER_02

I know.

unknown

That's sad.

SPEAKER_15

So what do you think about that?

SPEAKER_02

Like, as a parent, I can see why they did it because they were trying to teach him a lesson. So they can't control how the the officers and who they put the boy with. True. They should have some kind of mindful of, you know, a minor with a whatever. But police officers and police officers and and police officers and what they do. I was gonna say police officers and police officers and what they do. That shit doesn't make sense. What they do don't make no fucking sense.

SPEAKER_15

I don't think these are police officers, though. These is like like correctional officers. They were in transport. So he was already booked. So they didn't make bells, so I'm assuming he was on his way to go to jail. Yeah. I mean, you you what you want to do? Well, actually, nope, that's wrong. He probably was with like cops bringing him to the institution. Yeah, so I'm saying, like So they I if if you can't if they came from the jail same jail to the same place.

SPEAKER_02

If he's 17, then he should be tried as a minor, right? That depends on how they try you for the type of crime.

SPEAKER_15

They it doesn't matter. If they try we're gonna try you as an adult, you're an adult.

SPEAKER_02

Well then, hey, uh I the parent the parent was trying to to to make a statement. Like, listen, this is where you're gonna end up if you keep doing this stupid shit that you're doing.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah, I don't fault the parents. I I don't either. I don't I don't technically fault the parents. It's the system because it could have been their last straw, but yeah, I blame the system for it.

SPEAKER_02

It's the system. Yeah, you put them in there, and it's the kid. Hey, stop doing the things you're doing, you're gonna find yourself in a predicament where you don't you don't like it. And unfortunately, he was in the last predicament he was gonna be in. So I mean, which what can you do? Right. I know the kid the parents is gonna feel guilty because it was like it was our idea to kind of let him go, but like wow, we could have just grounded him. But yeah, yeah, but but at the same time, does grounding work if you try to ground him over and over and over again?

SPEAKER_15

Especially if this was But from what I'm hearing, like the offense that happened caused him to get arrested in the first place, and they decided, well, we're not making your bell this time. And it's like this time, it's like so he he was pushing the boundaries.

SPEAKER_02

So he he didn't care, the kid didn't care where he ended up, he was just gonna do what the fuck he wanted to do in the first place. So it's the cave got put where he was supposed to be, where he was aiming to go. So you aim to go there, you're there, and unfortunately. The system failed you.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, yeah.

What Would Your Partner Be Arrested For

SPEAKER_02

So I I mean, grounding him at this point is like I I can still ground you, but at some point at some point, right? Six feet. Um, but at some point he was gonna find himself in somebody's jail and somebody's gonna beat the shit out of him anyway. So either way, it just sucks that now the parents gotta live with this guilt saying, Oh, I was trying to teach him a lesson. But if this isn't the first time, then obviously there's something more going on wrong. Yeah. So like maybe try some other help for your child. Yeah.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah, why be like, oh, you're gonna go to jail and face it back and get him some psychological help.

SPEAKER_02

Or maybe they tried all the options. I mean, he's 17, so 17 years old. No, son. Still a minor. Yeah, I'm saying, like, maybe they maybe they tried therapy, they tried all these other options. Shock therapy. He got shocked, all right. Uh no, he didn't. Yeah, with a boot. You know what? Oh, they they they wasn't wearing boots, so it's probably just toes and bunions. Yo, get out of here. But I mean Why don't even ask. Don't I feel sorry for the kid? I mean, he shouldn't. I do too. I mean, but I feel sorry. You gotta make parents because that's the situation. That's the fact that you gotta make better choices. I I I hate that. Like my my youngest son is was a menace when he was young. And I was just like, yo, you're gonna find like I at first I was like, I'm gonna bring you to like my idea was I was gonna bring you to a police officer station just to see what the fuck goes on. It's like you don't wanna be here. So I walked them in and I I walked right about, turned right back around. I was like, nah, this is not how I'm gonna I'm not gonna show you this shit. Because then they they started asking, what's your name, kid? And like, you know what? You don't need to ask me anything. I I just turn right around. But I was like, listen, that's that's where bad people go. You don't want to go there. Yeah, and they don't you don't get the freedom that you you think you want to have. So it's like I was trying to teach him just to just show him like you don't want to end up there. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he was still pushing the boundaries and shit, but I think once he matured to a degree, I mean he's only he's about to be 15 right now. So it's like he's matured, he found other things to keep his attention. He's not doing the the same things when he was younger because he didn't know no better. So it's like you just kind of keep teaching and learning and guiding and guiding and guiding, and it's like hopefully something would catch. Yeah. So I mean, yeah. I wanna sometimes it never catches, it just never catches you got Jeffrey Dama, you got, you know what I mean, like everything. So I got a question. Yeah. Mr. If the cops told you that your wife had been arrested, what would you instantly assume she did? If my if my wife said what now? If the cops told you you were your wife was arrested, what would you instantly assume she did? Back on that corner.

SPEAKER_15

Back on the your wife was a prostitute?

SPEAKER_02

That's where he found her. No, I'm just playing. Um That's crazy. Boosting. Boosting. Your wife's a thief. I got a lot of clothes, though. I never asked where they came from. That's crazy. For a fact. Back then, I was like fucked up. I was like, I'm a nice girl. Keep doing what you do. No, no, I'm just gonna have no idea. I I would think she would probably either she got fed up and killed somebody because I know her temperament, or or something minor. Yeah. Because it won't tell you the degree of why she got arrested. It's probably something she probably riding dirty in her car. They have registration. Oh my god. No She started fighting the police. Yeah. Fuck you! All right, let me go get her. Nene, if they came about your husband, what would you assume he did?

SPEAKER_15

His fucking temper. Yeah. Mm hmm. He beat the shit out of somebody. That's the only thing I could think of. Yeah. Yeah, it wouldn't be nothing else.

SPEAKER_02

You? What? You? I don't know no cops.

SPEAKER_06

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Now what would you what would you do? You wouldn't get caught. You're going back in. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_02

Anyway. Oh shit. That's it. That's all we got.

SPEAKER_14

Oh no.

SPEAKER_15

Um, that was a story. Sorry. Never mind.

SPEAKER_14

Now it's audio and your thing ain't working right now. Um your thing.

SPEAKER_15

I just realized whoa. So um bringing it back to like so y'all know Japanese all-processed uh food and all-processed food in school over in Japan. Something I think that America should be doing.

SPEAKER_02

Um we ain't gonna do anything that smart.

SPEAKER_15

They don't give a shit about the damn kids. So every meal is cooked fresh each morning for these kids. Um, visitors walk through schools of a thousand kids and see zero OB students. Japan doesn't just serve lunch. Every meal is cooked fresh that morning, made from scratch on site, zero processed ingredients, balanced nutrition by law. No vending machines, no fast food contracts, no corporate sponsors, just real food for growing brains. American school lunch is a business model. Japan is a cultural priority. U.S. schools sign contracts with Sodexo, uh, Aramark, and Tyson Foods. They serve frozen, reheated, chemical-loaded meals designed for profit, not health. That's crazy. It's true, though. It's true.

SPEAKER_02

It's very true.

SPEAKER_15

Childhood obesity in America, 19.7%. Childhood obesity in Japan, 3.5%. Those are just the sumo wrestlers.

SPEAKER_02

Now they just gotta eat something to help them drive.

SPEAKER_15

You was waiting for that that racist moment.

SPEAKER_02

They say the most important meal of the day is breakfast, right?

SPEAKER_13

It helps black people do. That's black in.

SPEAKER_15

It helps. Yeah, we're gonna move on. So here's what here's what Japanese students eat daily cabbage. Fresh fish or chicken. Rice. Yeah, kimchi, yeah. Seasonal vegetables. I think that's is that Japanese? I thought that was Korean. They eat rice for breakfast. Kimchi's Korean, I think. Look at you know your Asian foods. My mom. Um, fresh or chicken. Oh yeah. Vegetables, miso soup made that morning. Rice. I like miso soup. Not bread loaded with preservatives, fruit, and milk from local farms. American kids, we eat chicken nuggets, mechanically separated pizza classified as a vegetable by Congress. Chocolate milk, more sugar than soda. Like, what are we doing? Is that chocolate milk got more sugar than soda? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Wow. They classify pizza as a fruit group. So much tomato sauce on there. Right. What though? They classified as a fucking vegetable. The doughy fruit. Everybody ran along with it. You know how many teachers got the little calendar of the food groups?

SPEAKER_15

So listen, what's crazy about it, right? Is they're like, oh, tomato is a vegetable. So they classified it as a vegetable because I'm thinking it has to be because of the tomato sauce, right? Technically, tomato is not a vegetable, it's a fruit. So conjugate, congregus. I'm Asian conjugris. She ate too many chicken nuts.

SPEAKER_06

Yo, it's our school system.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean, listen, listen to me. I ain't got no common sense.

SPEAKER_14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

It is crazy because when you think about like the stuff that like the FDA passes through, like everything we have is dyed. All of them, like red dye number five, and like all of them different. Like, they be finding like that some of this stuff is like made with like chemicals that like make rubber and like all kinds of craziness.

SPEAKER_15

Like, look at they tray. That looks delicious. Well compared to, of course, a shitty food gonna look good because they need you to eat the shitty food. Yeah, I eat that. Yeah, so I'm saying that fish.

SPEAKER_02

That look like that. That's chicken. Oh, that looked good. I could survive in a Japanese school. Mm-hmm. I bet you could. That is absolutely horrible. I'ma be the three percent obese child.

SPEAKER_15

I'm like, I need another meal.

SPEAKER_02

That'll get you right quick.

SPEAKER_15

Hurrow. I done needed uh the more miso soup, please.

SPEAKER_02

That's absolutely horrible. We are no, not on Christmas Day.

SPEAKER_15

Merry Christmas. It's Miss Time. Oh my god. Okay, I'm sorry, that's horrible. Bleep that shit. Bleepin' piggy. He don't know where's that.

SPEAKER_02

I know.

SPEAKER_15

He never does.

unknown

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_15

You know, we just look ahead. It's it's the gems. Just go to the gems. Hurry, the gems, please.

SPEAKER_11

Right. And hip hop is this.

SPEAKER_15

Oh, my one, two. Nah. The way they go.

SPEAKER_11

Jeminty.

SPEAKER_02

Jiminty. Jimamas.

SPEAKER_14

I'm done. I'm absolutely done.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you. Okay, gem number one. I I found this very fucking hilarious. Please don't have anything Asian in it. It says, I'm not arguing with no bitch with pussy lips that hang like balls.

SPEAKER_15

That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_02

Who has How would you know they hang like balls though? Because he fucked with them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_15

Probably like them.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you know what I'm saying? What's some dogs that be slobbering with the thing on the um basset hounds that be drooling all?

SPEAKER_15

Now the American bulldogs? They drool.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14

If your pussy looks like a never no bitch. Just dragon. Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_02

You got a curtain over your baby hole. A curtain? Did you say a curtain? Yeah, the extra meat.

SPEAKER_15

Yo, that's disgusting.

SPEAKER_02

Yo. Alright, listen. Because it's Christmas, I found it's pretty, pretty hilarious. Did you? December 24th is Christmas Eve. December 25th is Christmas Day. December 26th? Yep, question mark. We don't even know what that is. December 27th through the 30th, the void, no one knows what day it is. Then you got New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, and then reality sets in.

SPEAKER_15

Who cares?

SPEAKER_02

Like after Christmas, nobody pays attention to New York. Nobody cares about it. Until after New Year's.

SPEAKER_15

Well, he wanted it to be Black Friday, like um, explain that to me.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. That's it. Like, it's kinda. It's like after Christmas Day, nobody gives a fuck what day it is. I think we don't start paying attention until January comes out. Oh, sorry about you guys.

SPEAKER_15

Oh, you do? Mm-hmm. Oh. I'm not on vacation until the 31st. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Okay. Oh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Poor thing.

SPEAKER_15

Welp? Yeah. Damn. I thought about it, but then I was like, ain't nobody gonna be there. Yeah. There's three people in the building. Ain't nobody gonna be there.

SPEAKER_02

Should be a nice one.

SPEAKER_15

So I'm good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Alright, last gym, and this is a question. It's just a question. Uh, women that's five five and shorter, do the sun visor even work for you in the car? No. How tall are you, Nini? Five five.

SPEAKER_15

Really? It doesn't, because every time I flip it and the sun is still there, and my husband looks over, he'd be like, you know, there's a button to lift the seat. But why do I gotta lift the seat? I just want the sun to get out my face. I don't want to do all that extra shit. So it is it is disturbing.

SPEAKER_02

You should like sit on phone books. Your phone? You should hit a car seat. That's back seat. Back when cars didn't have seat belts. Uh that's why I referenced it with Nene. You were there.

SPEAKER_15

And you know what your ass? You heard me? And you know what car. Just prayers and wishes. Okay. But that was my jumps.

SPEAKER_11

That's a sheet back in the house once again.

SPEAKER_02

I ain't got it like that. Back in the day.

SPEAKER_15

He said that all the time. What you say? What?

SPEAKER_14

I'll hear it back later.

SPEAKER_02

Alright. I have some sad news. I have to um I have to say.

SPEAKER_07

You suck.

SPEAKER_02

Just give me a moment, y'all. You lost your virginity? No, just it's it's serious. No, no, it's a serious moment. He sold it on that app, Singularity.

SPEAKER_15

That's why his his picture was like that on the app. Oh, you said a sad moment? Yes, it's a moment of silence.

Fantasy Football: Wins, Losses, And Trash Talk

SPEAKER_02

I lost my fantasy. I am not in the runnings in my playoffs. I lost my in my first week for the first time in many, many years. Nene, are you still in the game?

SPEAKER_13

I'm still in the game.

SPEAKER_02

And I wanted to say, congratulations, Nene. Um, you are in the running to get to the championships. You got two weeks left. My team decided not to fucking show up. And so plenty for and then last week, in this playoff, my team goes the fuck off. Really? And I'm like playing for fifth, fifth place. Nobody cares about fifth place. So, congratulations, Nene. I hope you uh I hope you take it for, I guess I think you're playing against your son this uh I got a player playing right now. Playing against your son this week.

SPEAKER_15

Um I am playing against my son right, and I am showing to beat him by the repoints. Really? Yes, but that could change.

SPEAKER_02

That could change. The projections don't mean shit. Yeah, they don't. Um, so uh and he's been talking hella shit this year.

SPEAKER_15

He's even been trying to convince me. He'd be like, oh mommy, you should you should put this person in and take this person out. And I'm like, sit your ass down, dude. I look like I was born yesterday, I gave birth to you.

SPEAKER_02

So you you uh if you get past this round, you'll be in the championship. Wow. Good luck. And she's been the last couple years, I've been done it. The determination on the food. Oh my god. So she is right there and it's level.

SPEAKER_15

And the crazy part is what you just say the commissioner. And last year I lost because of my son.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_15

Oh, really? Because that fool beat me by like 0.6 points.

SPEAKER_02

And then I end up and then I end up beating him and winning the championship. So for me to end up in fifth place this year, I'm pretty pissed. But it's it's it's fun because shit. Yeah. But you know, my team didn't show up. But the the fun thing is the last place loser in our in our fantasy league gets a nut set trophy. I can't wait to present him with a nut set trophy. And the winner of ours gets a trophy and 200 bucks.

SPEAKER_15

So nice, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Good luck. Good luck, Nene. I'm rooting for you. Yeah, yeah. What you want to do with your nut trophy, mister? I'm not in 10th place, so that's going to be fire. But it's funny. It looked like a real flesh of nuts. Really? Oh, yeah, it's funny.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah, this this year's fantasy was very fun.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_15

It's a lot of my uh son's friends in it, and these kids are hilarious. Yeah. With the amount of shit that they talk. The best year ever. It's fun. And my daughter, my daughter's in it too. And let me tell you, this chick has been holding what she's number one. She's the first place. Yeah. In her first year. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So she's probably gonna take it.

SPEAKER_15

Well, she's playing. She's been flopping around, but she's still. She lost the last two weeks.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And whoever she's playing against this week, um, the projections don't look good for her.

SPEAKER_15

But she's been holding it down. Yeah, if she does some changes, maybe, but like, I'm like, first place is crazy. And I mean, all the weeks that pass. This is like how many weeks? And she might not make it. 14, 15 weeks right now.

SPEAKER_02

It's the 15th week. So we got one more.

SPEAKER_15

I mean, has she been holding number one spot?

SPEAKER_02

Oh no, this is week 16. I did give her her first L though. I did. Yeah, she's nine and she's 10 and 4. She goes against um uh one of Jordan's friends who's eight and six, who ended up beating me last week to get take me out of the championship uh run. And then uh your son is 10 and 4, and then you are 7-7. So, and she's the the last team that just barely makes it to the playoffs. And she just I just be holding on, man.

SPEAKER_15

So that's that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, good luck.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah, sorry, mister.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it it is what it is, it is what it is. It is what it is. Finally, he got knocked out. I know, right? I know. Welp.

SPEAKER_15

Well, I hope you guys have a very very good happy chair. Merry Christmas, happy Kwanzaa, happy Hanukkah. Whatever you whatever you celebrate holidays, guys.

SPEAKER_02

Sean says let us know.

Merry Send-Off And Let It Snow

SPEAKER_01

Let us know, let us know. Man, it doesn't show signs. Let us know. Let us when we finally kiss good night. But if you really hold it all the way home, I'll be walking, and the fire is slowly dying, and my dear, we're still goodbye. But as long as you love me so, let it snow, let all let all let all let all let all let all let all

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