Table 4 Three
Welcome to the table where you will dine on three unprofessional opinions for the night. Table For Three is meant to be a light-hearted space that talks about everyday events from the perspective of three regular ass people. We look to bring humor to our topics...think of us like the comment section on TikTok. Now, things can get messy at the table as we all know, so come prepared with a bib.
Table 4 Three
Episode 18: When Your Night Out Exposes Who Your Friends Really Are
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Start the year with a table that doesn’t hold back. We kick off with chaotic food riffs, a night out at Flying Monkey, and a cover band singing Roberta Flack like Lauryn Hill—funny on the surface, but it cracks open a bigger thread about taste, credit, and how we label people and art. That theme hits hard when we unpack a viral NYE story: a plus-size friend told to pay $300 at a Miami club while her crew debates the cost ten minutes before midnight. We talk loyalty, body shaming at the door, and the moment a plan reveals the truth about a friendship.
From there, we pivot to a Texas apartment fire allegedly sparked by burning a boyfriend’s clothes on a balcony grill—an impulsive act with devastating consequences. It’s part PSA, part reality check: rage can torch more than a relationship. The conversation deepens with a candid look at intimacy and dealbreakers after Tiffany Haddish’s line that “three inches feels like nine when you’re in love.” We strip away the posturing and get honest about sexual compatibility, consent, technique, tools, and when staying is kind vs when it’s cruel. If desire is part of your love language, how and when do you say that out loud?
We also move through cultural flashpoints: a karmic update on George Zimmerman, a missing special education teacher in Chicago and the ethics of public suspicion, plus Tim Allen blaming DEI for his career slump. We parse what inclusive casting actually does for storytelling and why nostalgia isn’t a hall pass for exclusion. To breathe between the heavy, we play a ridiculous but revealing game—Which celebs seem like they smell good?—before landing on a few quick “gems” about patience, receipts, and protecting your peace.
If you like your comedy unfiltered and your takes clear, pull up a chair. Rate and follow to keep the table loud in your feed, share this with a friend who needs the reminder to leave together, and drop a comment: when the door guy says $300, what do you do?
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Cold Open And Introductions
SPEAKER_03Welcome to the table. The opinions of this podcast are for entertainment purposes only.
SPEAKER_13Our thoughts and views are not to be taken personally. It is not that serious.
SPEAKER_12We are trained professionals at being regular ass people. If you can't take what we serving, this is not the table for you.
SPEAKER_02Reservation denied. Enjoy the show.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. What up, world? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the table. Oh my God. Still gonna make it still gonna be. Go hard at your whole squad with no problem. Lay back on my want me doing yours. Give me a flex. I'm vexing no bro.
unknownI'm ready to jump oh uh. Maybe I'm the bottom when it goes blow up. I'ma get money, kid, that hope you enjoy your new year.
SPEAKER_03Alright. So I hope everyone is enjoying their new year. First week of the new year. I wonder how your week has been. It's been fantastic so far, hopefully. Hope you're enjoying your ride. If you're new to the show, I am Mister.
SPEAKER_12I'm Nini.
SPEAKER_13And I'm cupkeep.
SPEAKER_03Cupkeep? Cake. Oh, you got cakes. Got cakes to share. I'm a sesame cake. Sesame seed cake? Wait, is there a little thing called sesame seed?
SPEAKER_13Oh, you ain't got the reference.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. Sesame seed cake?
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Is it from a movie?
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_03No, it ain't.
SPEAKER_13Oh, Amy Morebread. He was like, stop eating my sesame cake.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I haven't watched that movie in so long. Only thing I remember from that movie is Amy More Bread. That's literally all I remember.
SPEAKER_02Amy. Bad man, Amy.
SPEAKER_03And she like rubber chest or some shit. She was like the gorilla.
SPEAKER_13She was bean flicking.
SPEAKER_03What? The monkey was flicking her bean?
SPEAKER_13She's not a monkey.
SPEAKER_03I mean a gorilla. My bad. I went to a place called Flying Monkey the other day.
SPEAKER_13Oh yeah. I like them.
SPEAKER_03I just, it's the name for me. Why? Flying Monkeys.
SPEAKER_12Uh-huh. The Wizard of Oz.
Food Tangents And Flying Monkey Night
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's where it's from? Oh. Oh.
SPEAKER_12Well, she thought it was this shit.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_11Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03But I but then like when I left the restaurant, I seen they had a whole bunch of like aviator stuff. So I'm thinking like the owner was a like pilot. A what? A booty pilot? I did not say that. Said a monkey. Not a booty pilot. But no, uh, they got some really good food there. Um, I had I had uh uh hot dog pineapple, mango. If yo, why go to a restaurant for a hot dog? That's like a waste of time. Some people you go to a five-star restaurant for a glizzy.
SPEAKER_13Like, let me get the uh glizzy on a toasted bun. Hot relish.
SPEAKER_03The five meat meat stick. The five meat meat stick. Oh my god. Oh wow. That's what a hot dog is, is a meat stick. Yeah. And you you like you you like meat sticks? Is that like your go is Noah Wait, so no no no no, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm gonna get back to the flying monkey, but when uh when you when you don't feel like cooking dinner, right, is is like your go-to a meat stick. It's like so like do you buy meat sticks just to be like, I'm gonna put it in the refrigerator just in case I just don't feel like cooking. And you just got meat sticks on deck. What no, I'm seriously, like you ever buy groceries?
SPEAKER_13Yeah, and then I'll buy hot dogs.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, right. Do you buy the Angus meat stick? That's that's you think it's real Angus? I mean, if they say it's Angus. You say Angus or anal?
SPEAKER_11No.
SPEAKER_03Anal meat stick. Oh my god. Wow. Not asking my air. It's like where it's like where to get the meat, um, the the parts of the meat from, right? Like Angus, Angus is like a the a different part of the cow, right?
SPEAKER_13No, and well, yes, but you are so confusing.
SPEAKER_12No, I'm just saying because he only eats beef sticks. Beef meat sticks. Beef meat sticks? Beef meat.
SPEAKER_03Nah, I I figure like the Angus ones are the better, the better ones to get. Like the Angus ham like the uh patties, the hamburger patties. Yeah, yeah. I figure it's like it's like the better uh choice in those situations.
SPEAKER_12Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_12If it is what it is, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03Like, I don't even know. Like, yeah, I mean, they say it on the package, but we don't really know what's in there.
SPEAKER_13I eat Wagyu glizzies.
SPEAKER_03Nathan's is that that come from Nathan?
SPEAKER_13No.
SPEAKER_03Wait, what do you say? Why you? Like the Street Fighter? You eat Ryu's meat sticks?
SPEAKER_13Yo. So, what about the flying monkey?
SPEAKER_03No, wait, what did you say? That's not what I said.
SPEAKER_12Wait, how did we get to meat sticks?
SPEAKER_03Yo, you said right, Ryu.
SPEAKER_13No, I said Wagyu.
SPEAKER_03What? Yo, is there a hot dog call? What did you say? Ragu.
SPEAKER_12I just want to know how we got to meet sticks.
SPEAKER_03Wait, I'm trying to understand what you said. W. Uh-huh. A G. Why? Oh. Okay. Okay. I I I I really I didn't understand. I thought you were saying Ryu, like I do, kid.
SPEAKER_11It's meat sticks.
SPEAKER_03Oh, but yeah, Flying Monkey had a uh uh pineapple mango shrimp. Meat stick. Uh shrimp taco, which was which was it was actually pretty pretty good. Soft shell or hard shell? They give it to me in the soft shell. Um, and they like two of them, but it's it's like it's it's it's a lot of it's a lot of uh it's a lot of ingredients in this in the middle.
SPEAKER_11Why were you doing the smoke shit?
SPEAKER_03No, that was like your taco. You gotta hold it like that. You don't hold your taco like that.
SPEAKER_12You had a seafood meat stick.
SPEAKER_03Uh yeah, yeah. No.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, you didn't it was a loose meat stick.
SPEAKER_03That's what a taco is, right?
SPEAKER_13A loose meat stick. Oh a loose meat stick.
SPEAKER_03But yeah, um, and then they had a uh they had a band there. So gross. Like older, like a older uh four tops. Like, no, it's like old white people singing like classics. And I I must say I I mean they look like they they was probably like 40 something, but they look 80.
SPEAKER_02The Partis family?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, pretty much. Because one of the husband was a drummer, and but they was really singing some good songs, uh, and they were singing it good too.
SPEAKER_13Like what song?
SPEAKER_03Like you could tell she she was racist a little bit because she was like, I'ma sing the Roberta Flack song, and not like the Nort Lauren Hill joint, even though it is a Roberta Flack. So she was like, shrim, yeah. I was like, oh that's you ain't gonna give her. But she didn't want to that that's very true. That is very true. I'm beer, I'm being racist right now.
SPEAKER_13First is monkeys, then it's Roberta.
SPEAKER_03That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_13It just on your mean stick.
SPEAKER_03It's just it was odd in there. It was odd in there, but I had a good time. It was it was good.
SPEAKER_13She just likes Roberta's rendition. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03But she sung it like Lauren Hill.
SPEAKER_13Did she?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. She was like, shrim in my bang.
SPEAKER_12That's how Roberta sang it.
SPEAKER_03Seriously?
SPEAKER_12You ever think that origin?
Roberta Flack vs Lauryn Hill Debate
SPEAKER_03Oh, no. I'm saying all this shit and I'm dying. Okay, so going forward, our conversation. Fact check me first. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, uh, I had a good time there. Uh, how was the first week of your 2026?
SPEAKER_13Yo. Mine has been being some bullshit.
SPEAKER_03I'll just be talking and talk. Yeah, you do. I didn't know you did a whole bit. He had no idea what he was talking about in the coming time. At all. I'm just going. The funniest thing is y'all let y'all just let me go.
SPEAKER_13Full of sweet meat stuff.
SPEAKER_03It had a jalapeno in it, too. So it was a little spicy. Yeah, a little spicy. Oh my god. Yeah, don't let me uh don't let me start the show.
SPEAKER_10Like, but that's not Roberta. Roberta what the fuck?
SPEAKER_03What was that? I don't know. Now now I'm curious. Hold on.
SPEAKER_12But oh my stomach hurt.
SPEAKER_03How was the first week of your 2026?
SPEAKER_13Um, mine was very busy, but it was draining. I had a lot going on, and it was just very tiring. Um I just feel like depleted all my energy. My energy go.
SPEAKER_12Mine is actually a bit of both. Yeah. Um, it was like uh I got back on the zone. Yeah. Because I was the only one there.
SPEAKER_05With his fingers.
SPEAKER_02Nah. Lauren song it different.
SPEAKER_05Killing me softly with his song. Come on.
SPEAKER_03She was singing the Lauren version. All right, all right, no, go ahead. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off, but I had to hear it. There's just a distinct difference. Anyway.
SPEAKER_12Because it's the newer version, Lauren Hills, but the Lauren pretty much sang it the same. The only difference is she put a little bit more um because she had a beat to it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, she she put a little more oof in it. That's how she was singing it at uh Flying Monkey with a little bit more oof. But credited Roberta. I get it as Roberta's song, but she sang it like Lauren.
SPEAKER_12But ain't nobody gonna sing it like Roberta. If you sing it, you gonna sound like Roberta?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_12Do it. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03I need my uh taco stick.
SPEAKER_13No, you need that meat stick.
SPEAKER_03The Angus.
SPEAKER_12No, how's this? I was about to say Angus for the anus. That just that just He's angling for some Anus for his anus.
SPEAKER_13Wow.
SPEAKER_03Playing playing on the word.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, say that five times fast. Nope.
SPEAKER_03Sean, Sean, Sean.
SPEAKER_10But that was three. Hey, no, I can't count either.
SPEAKER_03No, uh how so yeah.
SPEAKER_12So how was the uh So to continue off my story of how my week was, um, bitch. No, it wasn't like that. Wow. Sorry. Um, no, so I uh came back to work to a shitload of mess and me being the only person there to take care of it. Really? Everybody else is out. Like out sick or on vacation or uh one, uh I think both was on vacation and then one turned it into sickness. Like my supervisor, I said Africa, she she said bye. Okay so she won't be back. Did she say bye like that? Or did she say that? I don't know, I wasn't there. Did she say goodbye? She don't even sound like that.
SPEAKER_13She's gonna be gone for a long time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03We hope she comes back. Yeah, I know. Traveling bands and shit, like it's probably expensive as fuck to get a plane ticket back. But um let her over the border.
SPEAKER_12But um, yeah, so I mean, the one coworker that irritates me so has been out. So that's good. But I've been stuck with a lot of shit to do.
SPEAKER_03But aren't you don't you look forward to doing that? Like, because you don't like to be bored? I don't, but this is beyond bored. Oh. What is what is it? Like it's keeping you busy.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, but people I want to be busy, I don't want to be overwhelmed.
SPEAKER_11Okay.
SPEAKER_12There's a difference.
SPEAKER_03You want people to do their work type of shit.
SPEAKER_12Exactly.
SPEAKER_13They're not there to do it.
SPEAKER_12Even if they were, but they'll take their time to do it. But I wouldn't have to worry about that because I'd be doing my own shit. But I'm doing everything.
SPEAKER_03But so why why so when you're doing everything, it includes their work too?
SPEAKER_12Um well, it's all our work. I'll say that, but there's nobody there to delegate. They're not picking up their share of all of your work. Right. There's nobody there to delegate it to.
SPEAKER_03So technically you don't have to pick up all everybody's share.
SPEAKER_12No, I don't. And I'm not.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god.
SPEAKER_12I'm just saying, it's it's coming in an abundance though, right now.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_12Like out of all times, nobody's there. Now all of a sudden shit's coming in in abundance. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 50-50. Right.
SPEAKER_03Everybody coming back from vacation and want things done.
SPEAKER_12Exactly. So it's a lot of emails coming in, going out. A lot of Battlestar Galactica with people who act like they know what they're talking about when they don't. So, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Battlestar Galactica. That's a good show. You ever watch that show?
SPEAKER_12Mm-hmm. Can't reference the show, you may watch.
SPEAKER_03Well, uh. Yeah, you can. You shouldn't. Yeah, you shouldn't.
SPEAKER_13He referenced singers and songs. That's true. That's what I'm supposed to say.
SPEAKER_12We see how that turned out. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Roberta.
SPEAKER_12Roberta just walked by.
SPEAKER_03With a robe and a and a skull cap on. Holy shit.
SPEAKER_13That's too much.
SPEAKER_03I know that's not my robe. I don't want to hear Lauren Hill's version. Just to hear the difference. I'm not gonna do that. Alright, let's get to it. Lauren.
SPEAKER_12I'm so nervous.
SPEAKER_03Lauren Hill is still A-less, right?
SPEAKER_12That depends on who you ask her. She ailes when she show up.
SPEAKER_03Lauren, y'all still think she got the the never mind. Singing? She still sing? Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
Plus-Size Friend Charged 300 At Club
SPEAKER_03Would she be Would she show up? Would she be in anybody's top ten if she continued her singing like how she did in her her album? Or should she be in anybody?
SPEAKER_12She would be in mine. I would put her in my top ten. I mean it. Even even after like singing wise.
SPEAKER_03Let's just say singing wise. Let's take the lateness stuff out of it. Let's just take the rapping out of this. Singing wise. Um to this day, would she be in anyone's top ten?
SPEAKER_12Okay, so singing wise, still singing today, I would put her in my top twenty.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I have to say top twenty. I was going to amend it, but I already said top ten, but I was as I was saying it, I was like, I should say top twenty.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, I would say top twenty.
SPEAKER_12Would she crack 15 that depends on who I have on my list, but um she probably make it to like 16 maybe for me?
SPEAKER_03Okay, like just write, okay. Last question before we move on about Lauren. Did y'all like her writing as a writer and singer? Would she go higher? Because she I she wrote some really, really good records.
SPEAKER_12She did, but I would have to actually see which the which of the records she actually wrote.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And didn't have any co-writers.
SPEAKER_12Right. Like, even if you have co-writers, because you know, sometimes a co-writer could have gave you a word. Or a little yeah. Yeah. So um or a phrase or melody type shit. Yeah. Like, oh, don't do it this way, do it that way. Okay.
SPEAKER_03She will be like fourteen for me.
SPEAKER_12Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I always hold her in high regard 'cause I think she's uber talented. I just think the industry she just got sick of the industry and just you just want to do her shows and g when she wants to show up and then Go home. You know what I'm saying? Like if she really if like cared cared to make more like she made records. Yeah, like she made records, but she I think she made records trying to not be this a slave of the industry. Okay just to just to get out like satisfy her deals and shit, like I got a five album deal, let me bust out these albums. You know what I mean? Like let me just get these shits out of the way. Cause she's going through some personal shit and it's like the industry could really kiss my ass right now because I'm so she was like, but I think if she really if she actually like you know what her issue was?
SPEAKER_12I read upon this too, which I cause I had to dig. I was like, what was like Lauren Hill's real downfall? Like part of it was she had uh issues with her vocal cords.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah?
SPEAKER_12Yeah, because of prednisone, because of like whatever illness she had, and she was taking the pretnisone, it kind of like messed her up vocally. Oh that was it, that was one of her issues she had.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03Wow. Damn, I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_12I didn't either. And and I was just like, one day I just randomly was like, you know, let me dig in the laundry because she was dope. Like, what really happened? And I went down a whole rabbit hole. Yeah, she got bad kids and like illnesses stuff.
SPEAKER_03Pregnisone is like, what is that? It's something for your like It's a steroid. It's a steroid.
SPEAKER_12Oh, okay. I used to take that when I used to have my asthma attacks and they put me on a little prednisone taper. I hated it because you be hocked up in high as shit, like like you just did a bump of cocaine because it makes you mad hyper. You can't gain weight. Well, nobody saw that but you. Thanks for sharing. It's just not funny. She's just like, yeah. Because my hair is too hot.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, prednisone. It's it's a bitch.
SPEAKER_12I hate yeah, I hate Prednisone. I don't like it. I used to take when I was pregnant. Why? Well your baby dead. Holy shit. What the fuck are you thinking, Prednisone? My baby.
SPEAKER_03All right.
SPEAKER_11My baby.
SPEAKER_03The year just started. What is going on in this world already?
SPEAKER_12My baby.
SPEAKER_03Today.
SPEAKER_12It's a story that I heard, and I want you guys to hear it. I thought it was very interesting. Um my baby. It's like, yeah, I used to take that when I was pregnant. Stupid.
SPEAKER_10Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay. Thank you. People say Miami tests friendships and Vegas tests relationships. Let me tell you about my New Year's Eve last night. Four of us get ready to go out. I already DM'd a promoter for Vendom so that way that we can get in. You know, there'll be alcohol, no, you know, wait at the door, everything's all good. We pull up, one of my friends is plus size, and they tell her that she has to pay$300 at the door. We all thought we were gonna have an expense-free night, so no one wanted to pay for the$300 entry fee. We spent over two hours trying to figure out if we're gonna split it, can she put on her credit card, whether we're just gonna leave, go to another club, like literally just doing everything. And we spent over two hours plotting and planning and strategizing. Finally, we're 10 minutes before New Year's Eve, and I personally did not want to spend my New Year's Eve sitting on the curb. So I asked my friend, Would you be willing for us to pay for your Uber to go back home so you can watch the ball drop, watch fireworks, and be safe so that way we can at least go into the club before midnight. She turned to me and says, I'll get in that Uber, but once I do, we are not friends anymore.
SPEAKER_12I thought that was like the craziest story. And oh my god. So, what's your thoughts on that? Like it ain't my fault.
SPEAKER_13Club, that's fucked up. That is fucked up. Like, why? Yeah, yeah, what was the purpose of that?$300.
SPEAKER_12That's crazy. Yeah. Like, y'all should have made that stipulation. Right. You should have made that stipulation before they got there. If they set up everything, you should have said, Well, let me tell you, if you got a big ass bitch friend, it's gonna be extra money. Like, what? So, what would you have to do in that situation? Well, what who was I in the situation? Let's say you was you weren't the plus size friend, you were the other friends. I wouldn't have sent my friend home in the club. I wouldn't have either. That's not her fault. That's the club who did that shit, not her. That's not her fault. All right, so we leave and then we go on somewhere else. That's my thing.
SPEAKER_03So this wasn't like uh a planned out uh weeks in advance type of thing, like this is what we're going to do, type thing.
SPEAKER_12No, they planned that out. They made reservations and everything with the club owner. Right. Say, oh, y'all all set, y'all can get in here. They didn't they didn't pay shit. Right. Anyway. But to get there and then all of them, all of them together collectively. And then they get there and he looks at one friend and be like, yeah, it's gonna be a$300 just for her to come in.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so here's what I would have done.
SPEAKER_12You would have gone inside and let your friend go home?
SPEAKER_03No. I would have paid the$300. And you'll pay me back later.
SPEAKER_12Really? We would have too, but them bitches was broke.
SPEAKER_03They was trying to have an expense-free night. So broke bitches hang around broke bitches or whatever. They could have. Well, I'm not even gonna say that. Because they was actually plotting on splitting the cost. So why not just split the cost? They didn't want to. Because they really didn't want to.
SPEAKER_12Then okay. No, I'm not mad at the friend not being friends with them. Yeah, I got home. I'm not gonna. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_13Like they were where in Miami?
SPEAKER_12Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_13Go back.
SPEAKER_03Right? Miami, come on now. Yeah. Yeah, I I I would either me personally, if they didn't want to split the cost, I would have, I would have taken care of the cost myself and be like, yo, hit me back later, we peoples. Type shit. That's the type of person I am. If they wasn't gonna split the costs, we're going somewhere else then. We're we're gonna take it into New Year's together.
SPEAKER_12Like that would have been the the the main thought process for me. Like, I would have been.
SPEAKER_13I'm not even gonna be able to do that. Because that's discriminating me.
SPEAKER_12I gotta pay extra money for being voluntuous. Get the fuck out of here. That's stupid of me.
SPEAKER_13I just think that's fucked up.
SPEAKER_12Yeah. Like, I would have walked off. Ain't no way we're standing outside for two hours. Two hours debating what what what whether or not we're gonna spend the money. I would have been like, bitch, we going to somewhere else. If not, I will.
SPEAKER_03Two hours you should have been in somebody else's club. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_12And then all of a sudden now you want to be a bitch because you ten minutes before the ball drop. Y'all already had your time. Okay. Like, that's wild to me. It was never her friends.
Body Standards, Bias, And Bouncers
SPEAKER_03You're you're that part. So dudes have a theory about that stuff. Like when girls have the big plus size friend, they have a theory that they befriend them so they can look better.
SPEAKER_12Well, a lot of women, it's not look bad because e low key a lot of dudes like chubbies. No, I don't know if they be lying.
SPEAKER_03That's a m that's a myth. That's not what that's that's like.
SPEAKER_12But that's not a myth. It's not a myth. As far as that's real shit. Yeah, because like if you notice, a lot of people hang with ugly looking girls too, so they could look better. That's wild. And then when you notice, you'd be like, oh hey, how come we don't go out together? And you'd be like, oh, I get it. Competition for you. Got true. You want all the attention on you. I I get it. I've never been that type of person. Like, mm-mm. That's weird. Next question. That's weird behavior.
SPEAKER_03The reaction of the friend that had to go home. You think they're actually done being friends on their part, or I don't think so. Is it's a wrap? Like, is it?
SPEAKER_13I would never even said that.
SPEAKER_03You just you like it.
SPEAKER_13Y'all go home. Happy New Year. Never spoke to them again. And I'm on a plane home.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_13My$300 would have bought my um tickets. Yeah, okay. Gotcha early.
SPEAKER_03Gotcha.
SPEAKER_13Fuck y'all.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_13Yeah. For real. Like we came together. I think that's. Yeah, that's fucked up. To have a good time together, celebrate the new year.
SPEAKER_12And don't let me have it in the person that booked that shit. Everything canceled.
SPEAKER_13Because really, the ball drops every fucking year. You can get liquor anywhere. You can hear music anywhere. Yeah. You really gonna ditch me for that? So you can go inside that club to hear the same song you heard on the radio coming over.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Just because it's Miami. Just because it's Miami.
SPEAKER_13Like that's fucked up. That's what friends are.
SPEAKER_12When everybody knows the party really starts after the ball drive.
SPEAKER_13That's what I'm right. So and if they set this whole evening up with the owner of the club since they have a connection.
SPEAKER_12Yeah.
SPEAKER_13And so why would you allow this person at the door to even try to charge$300 for her to come in? Yeah.
SPEAKER_12I'd have been like, oh, where's where's uh such and such, yeah?
SPEAKER_13Right. Bring them on here. We sat outside there for two hours contemplating six thousand dollars. They know what they were doing.
SPEAKER_12Seven cents a piece. No, so I honestly think that they probably told they probably told her that. She knew. It was like, fuck it, we'll see if we can get her in anyway. And didn't relay the information to the friend.
SPEAKER_03That's exactly what happened.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, that's bullshit. Because they didn't want to be the ones that have to tell her she's gotta pay extra because she's poker face.
SPEAKER_03That's bullshit.
SPEAKER_13Wow, like who implements that type of rule? That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, club over there.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, they shame on them for that shit.
SPEAKER_03Shame on them for that shit. You get away with that shit all the time, though.
SPEAKER_12That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03In real talk, sometimes that just be the bouncers.
SPEAKER_12Right. Right.
SPEAKER_03It it it doesn't even be like that. They pocket this shit.
SPEAKER_13The club don't even know. Especially when you think about it just for women. So women's bodies are all different. And everybody identifies though.
SPEAKER_03I think women's body are all the same.
SPEAKER_13No. Everybody identifies big or fat differently. Yes. So you can have uh a chick with big ass boobs and it overtakes everything everything and people think she fat. You can have someone with a big old ass, big waist, big thighs, but no stomach, they still think. But they still think she's fat. You know, like so it's like what is the criteria? What are you looking at?
SPEAKER_03I've been with a pair before.
SPEAKER_13Did the bitch come with a um a BBL and you're like, nah, you too big, you need to pay$300?
SPEAKER_12Shut up.
SPEAKER_03What? It's it's it's amazing that you say that because some like I've I've known I know two people, just your description. I know one, I know one one way and one the other way. It's amazing like when they like you know how they do their thing when they tighten up their shirt, uh-huh. And I'm like, oh shit, you ain't got a stomach? Yeah. They should be throwing me off, like throwing me off though. But uh I know a pair like a pair, like she, like big ass no-titties, like and and it's like, oh, I mean you just thick. You just got all the meat in your legs. It just skipped your stomach. It just went to your thighs.
SPEAKER_13Depending on what they're wearing, it makes them, yeah, it makes them look a certain type of way, you know?
SPEAKER_03Their friend probably wasn't even that big, probably. She she probably had one of those bodies that was like one big boob and the other one small.
SPEAKER_13Why do you gotta even be a part of this?
SPEAKER_03Wait, I'm just saying, or or or her um what you call her? Fupa? Her foopa was probably like infected or something.
SPEAKER_13What the fuck? Infected?
SPEAKER_03Swollen Fupa. She probably just had a baby, you know what I mean? Trying to enjoy her night. Yeah, you did the right thing, friend. Don't don't uh don't let those girls you did the right thing, friend.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_13Yo, you get on my nerves. So got a um Nene, you okay over there? Got a hot uh story coming out of Texas.
SPEAKER_03Ooh, hot story.
SPEAKER_13So there was a woman that's been charged in collection, I mean in connection with well, pretty much, with a large apartment fire that damaged 13 units after she allegedly set her boyfriend's clothes on fire in a barbecue pit.
SPEAKER_02What?
SPEAKER_13So in shelter. Apartments got barbecue pits?
SPEAKER_10Oh shit. Mm-hmm.
Texas Balcony BBQ Fire Story
SPEAKER_13You know, like some like well, like depending on the type of like an apartment complex. The luxury joints. Yeah, they can have like grills or fire pits and you know I ain't there yet. Like they got they got fucking fire pit? Like they got money. Yeah, I know. Um so uh yes, so in Sheldon, Texas, um authorities responded to reports of a domestic disturbance at the apartment complex. And according to Fox 26 Houston, investigators say that the woman placed the clothing inside a barbecue pit that was located on the balcony. Why the fuck you got a barbecue pit on a balcony? That's what I'm saying. Like what? Yeah, that's she got that ain't fancy.
SPEAKER_12That's the hood. I'm about to say barbecue pitch is like in the middle of the lawn.
SPEAKER_14That's the hood.
SPEAKER_03Hey, yo.
SPEAKER_14She was like, We about to get a barbecue pit in our deck, bae.
SPEAKER_13Yo, fuck that shit. So she attempted to put the fire um out when it was getting out of control, and she thought she had put it out, and later it rekindled and started spreading to the nearby apartments.
SPEAKER_03Reignited or re They say it rekindled in the in the report. Like it fell in love and lost his love and then it rekindled. Like flicker of flame to H2O. We rekindled our love and sparks. You say flicker flame to H2O. Oxygen.
SPEAKER_13That's water.
SPEAKER_03Water. Yeah.
SPEAKER_12Oh my god. He was fucking up everything. Oh my god. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I I attempted to say some elegant.
SPEAKER_12He said it with so much conviction in it. Oxygen, bitch. It's like it's water. Water got oxygen in it, so I wasn't that far off. Two parts nitrogen, one part oxygen.
SPEAKER_13So um, anyway. So the complex um ended up facing uh partial structural uh collapse um impacting the first and second floors of the complex. Um multiple apartments suffered from fire, smoke, and water damage.
SPEAKER_03Hope they have rental insurance.
SPEAKER_13There were uh multiple residents that were displaced due to the damage. This bitch is going down. Yeah.
SPEAKER_12Like you see what you almost killed all them people.
SPEAKER_13You see the building for your emotional ass reaction to whatever it is, whatever it was that you had this issue with your man, and people be so quick to I don't know why people so quick to destroy shit.
SPEAKER_12I know.
SPEAKER_13Jesus.
SPEAKER_12I'm sorry, like, but it's the truth because people when people destroy shit, it's always their fucking downfall that something crazy happens.
SPEAKER_02Why are you destroying your own shit? She probably bought those clothes, that's why she's so mad.
SPEAKER_12Then give them to another nigga. Why the fuck would you burn them? Why would another nigga take those clothes? Somebody would.
SPEAKER_13That's true. But I never understood if they don't know.
SPEAKER_03Well, why would you tell them? You should. But it's like oh I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_13This is a whole different thing I want to talk about. But go ahead, go ahead. It's like, okay, you burn their clothes. Do you think that now going forward they're just gonna walk around naked? Like they're not gonna get like why was that the thing that was like, oh yeah, I'm gonna get your ass. No more blue jeans. Like, what? I don't get it. Like, I get it to a point where they're like, oh, I'm about to burn all your Jordans. No more blue jeans. You know, I get it like, oh, I'm gonna burn all your Jordans, like if it's a collector, or you know, like I'm gonna destroy your PS5, but because you know they'd be real attached to that shit. But just like burning your JCPenney's polos. No, those are tracks. Track 23. Like, I don't get it. Like, why is that the thing that you're like, oh yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna fix you. You cheated on me. Now you're gonna have to cheat naked. Like, what?
SPEAKER_03Well, that's that's how you cheat.
SPEAKER_11Like, that's bad. You're a real one. You do all the time.
SPEAKER_13And now you done put people out of their homes.
SPEAKER_12Okay, and you go to jail.
SPEAKER_13And she's you're gonna have to pay for damages to do this too. Yeah. Yep.
SPEAKER_12Mm-hmm. And now he's did you see the building, bro? Like she burnt that. The collapse down. If she collapsed, yeah.
SPEAKER_13First and second levels.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_12Yo, what kind of kerosene she used? Right, and how like that makes the propane habit. Like, we're gonna blow it up. Over some Oshcox bagage. Yo, get out of here.
SPEAKER_03Like, was that the picture of the woman in the gray hoodie? Yes. I was and now you living in a cell and he living with the bitch.
SPEAKER_12He was putting up. Okay, all behind you mad at him because he did something, you won't burn his clothes. Girl, how'd that work out for you?
SPEAKER_03And he probably didn't pick up his phone. That's probably some something.
SPEAKER_12If you're gonna burn them, you burn up the phone. Yo, that'd be crazy. Like, you do he ain't pick up the phone, you won't burn the clothes.
SPEAKER_03That's wild. He probably was possessive and like burn them in a tub. Like, what don't. Is that what you do?
SPEAKER_12No. Is the tub the best way? Bleach the bitches. Put the clothes in the tub and pour bleach on it. No. Just bleach it. Now he got tied down. Said you was Angela Bassett. Working.
SPEAKER_03Ma'am, you know you got uh your car's on fire in the lawn. It's my property. Yeah.
SPEAKER_12Not burnish it. Just put the clothes in a tub, pour bleach in it.
SPEAKER_03Don't follow Angela Bassett's uh model.
SPEAKER_12Crazy.
SPEAKER_13We do not condone any of this at all. Except for the bleach in the tub. Nene, I got a question for you. Um Tiffany Hatter says that three inches feels like nine when you're in love. I wouldn't know.
SPEAKER_12I wouldn't know.
SPEAKER_03You never don't wouldn't.
SPEAKER_12You never had a uh I have, and it what felt like it was three inches, and that's why I wouldn't know.
SPEAKER_13So there wasn't like a six-inch thrust to make the three feel like no uh nah Mr.
SPEAKER_03Mr. What I ain't three inches, bro.
SPEAKER_10Yo cut that shit up, Sean.
SPEAKER_14But do you but do you think No Sean? Did you deal with the three inches?
SPEAKER_13No.
SPEAKER_03Never?
SPEAKER_13No.
SPEAKER_03Would you ever?
SPEAKER_11No.
SPEAKER_03Ugh. What if you're okay question?
SPEAKER_11Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03Scenario. You meet you meet someone. What's that scenario? And they they check all your boxes. Relationship over. Right? They check all your boxes. Before you even you know, he's not Russian, he's not forcing, he's not French? He's not he's Alaskan.
SPEAKER_13He's maybe not Russian.
SPEAKER_03He's not Russian.
SPEAKER_13Oh, Russian.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That's what I said in the first place. Oh, he's a Russian. Oh. Russian. Yeah, I see how it sounds now. And he's doing he's doing all the right things. Right? And let's say a month goes by, y'all didn't do anything, and you and you like, oh, damn it, I'm gonna throw him these panty draws.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_12Panty draws. Right? It's highways box of briefs, okay? Okay.
SPEAKER_13Why do I have they them bottoms? They them bottoms.
SPEAKER_11I'm about to patent some pronoun patterns.
SPEAKER_03They them bottoms.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_03Anticipation is crazy.
SPEAKER_10Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03You in love now.
SPEAKER_10Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03Right? After sixty, thirty days.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_03He dropped those draws.
SPEAKER_10Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03You could barely see it. What do you do? I would probably Would you let I mean after all the all that, would you at least allow him like a attempt?
SPEAKER_13I would most likely contemplate it for maybe two hours with my friend, send him home in the door, and then I'm gonna watch the ball drop. Rubball. Rubble. That's difficult. That's so, but see, with me, the scenario would be a little different only because 24 hours instead of a month.
Tiffany Haddish Quote And Size Talk
SPEAKER_03Wow. You would know by no, I'm not saying like you have sex. I'm just saying you would you would figure it out by that time.
SPEAKER_13I'm just saying that a month is not gonna go by without there being some sort of fondling interaction to where you it doesn't have to be sex, right? But come on. It's been a month. Like throughout that month, there's some sort of fondling or touching or for you know, something's going on, or even just uh showing because it oh, this leads me to another question. Everybody I've been with has showed me before we even got to stop so and that was all two people one before the monastery and one after.
SPEAKER_03Yo, okay. Is it realistic is it realistic to not have sex for a month?
SPEAKER_10Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Without doing anything, like not even trying to figure out the fondling stuff.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, for some. Yeah, I can't.
SPEAKER_03Is it realistic for you?
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, that was a bold faced lie. So are you saying that like I just met somebody, we're talking, and it's gotten to a month and I haven't done any of that? Yeah, that's possible.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, cut and and possible the the box, all the boxes are getting checked.
SPEAKER_13It's possible, but even if I if even if there hasn't been any type of touching, I would have had to have seen it within that month in order to continue.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_13At some point, I'm seeing it.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_13So as you're you're like people don't just invest money. They invest time. And that time needs to pay.
SPEAKER_10I'm just I'm just I'm flabbergasted here. Why?
SPEAKER_12That's wild. That's wild. Nobody's going into nothing blind in no buttons.
SPEAKER_13This day and age, who is really going into any type of relationship, whether it's talking, dating, whatever. So sex has to be a to where there isn't some form of, oh, this person didn't send me a dick pic, or this person didn't send me a little video.
SPEAKER_03I would never I never send a dick pic. Well, I know what you're talking about. I never took the picture myself.
SPEAKER_11Let me say that. Yo.
SPEAKER_03My dick been on some phones and I don't know how it got there.
SPEAKER_12Hey, yo.
SPEAKER_13Oh my god. But would you honestly say in any of the situations that you were ever in up until marriage, that you would have gone a month without, even if there was no touching, without any type of like I ought to find my way in.
SPEAKER_03That sounds so creepy.
SPEAKER_13That did sound creepy.
SPEAKER_03But that's almost the same, is it like ain't no way you could go a month without seeing the seeing what's no?
SPEAKER_13It's just like, you know, you could literally and y'all talking nasty and like that's not seeing it. Send me a picture of like, you know. Send me a picture of your titty. You know, like it's natural, that's normal. But what we know that you, you're just like, you meet somebody and you're like, hey, I'm a producer, and then you're having sex with them in the back.
SPEAKER_09So I guess it's a bit different for you.
SPEAKER_13Some of us like to pace ourselves.
SPEAKER_03Hey oh no. Let's not let that there well, yeah, technically as well.
SPEAKER_13But Nini knows what I mean. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03What about you?
SPEAKER_12What about me?
SPEAKER_03Is it is it going a month, or you have to figure it out before the month comes around?
SPEAKER_12I'm a nasty horny bitch. I'm not lasting no month, and I'm gonna see the dick before it happens.
SPEAKER_03Time frame. When you meet somebody to where it has to go down.
SPEAKER_12It depends on what I want from that person.
SPEAKER_03What do you mean?
SPEAKER_12So if a lot of times I'm not going into a situation where I'm looking for a relationship from somebody, so I'm gonna see the dick. If it's relation-wise, relationship-wise, um, we'll probably talk for a bit, but then I'm gonna see the dick. It's not gonna go past, it's not gonna go past the month that I haven't seen it. Sex may be different, but I have to see it first because ain't no way. Yeah, ain't no way. Ain't no way you're about to pop out of Tic Tac, you don't made me fall in love, and now I gotta crush your dreams and send you home. Because that's so that's exactly what will happen. He's the man of your dreams, though. I don't care. See, I don't understand the the the I'm not saying that I I'm not speaking for other people for me. I'm very sexually oriented as a person, so that is a big thing for me. So if you have something that's not gonna give me what I want, I don't want you.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, sex doesn't have to be the main factor, but it's a factor in every what percentage.
SPEAKER_11What's the percentage of that factor, yo? Yo 55%?
SPEAKER_13No. Go ahead and lie. No, not 50%, it doesn't have to be 55%.
SPEAKER_1254 people be playing around, but for a lot of people, sex is a big thing. It is because like, especially when people ask what's your love language, if like intimacy is somebody's love language, you know what I'm saying? And if if if your partner has a hard time pleasing you and that's what you want, then I'm not gonna put you through a situation where I might eventually go and cheat on you.
SPEAKER_13And see, for me, intimacy is a lot of different levels, so it doesn't always mean like intercourse for intimacy, right? Like, but if you're being intimate with somebody, like say, even like, okay, you're with your person, and they're like kissing on your neck or whatever, that's intimacy, right? But in the process of that, most times the gentleman is going to get aroused, and if he gets aroused, and it's the tip of a crayola crayon, and you're gonna be like, what am I supposed to do with that?
SPEAKER_12Right.
SPEAKER_03You had to put Crayola in front of that. I'm just saying, like, okay, all right, which leads me to my next question, which is this and all of it's fine, right? So you're a sexually active being that would like to be pleased with something worth being pleased with. Yes?
SPEAKER_12If he's gonna have to put a strap on on, then fine.
SPEAKER_03No, I'm what I'm saying is wow. What I'm saying is, now that you have that, right? You went into it, you found out it's everything you want, right? And you have it. And then at some point it gets stale. It doesn't happen as as what you want. Yeah, you just said it'll be no point of getting the person with the three-inch, because you're gonna end up cheating or whatever. So, what happens when you get the one you want and it stops? Are you still gonna go out and cheat now? Well, why does it stop? I don't know, maybe the way they gotta have a conversation.
SPEAKER_12Right. Like, why but what's the conversation? You just be like, well, you like for instance, if like it's something for it to make it stop. Like, it's not, is it broke? Like if it's erectile dysfunction, then why it gotta be him? Huh?
SPEAKER_03It couldn't be why it's let's not say she.
SPEAKER_12I'm just c I'm trying to come up with a scenario to answer. I'm not like I'm asking, like, what's the stipulation of it? Like, what make I don't know, like fix something.
SPEAKER_03Let's just say it just did, right? It it's not as good as when you first had it, right?
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03Does does that does that classify as well, it's almost like having a three-inch dick anyway, and I'm just gonna go out, like it rationality, how you explain with the three-inch dick, like if why put them through the trouble because you're gonna go out and cheat anyway. But you understand what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_12Like, I'm trying to understand it.
SPEAKER_13If you're no longer being pleasured by the person that you were originally being pleasured with, right, I think it deserves a conversation. Yeah. To find out why what has changed. Right. Because to just instantly be like, uh, this ain't no good no more, or you're not giving it to me the way that you wanted now, I'm gonna go cheat, that's bullshit and that's you. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Well, I'm saying that's what the female's doing. Like the female saying that.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_13Well then that's yeah, yeah, that's stupid. Right. Because if this person if this is the person that was checking all your boxes, if your first thing to do when one of the boxes gets unchecked, gets unchecked, right? To just go elsewhere, you're a shitty person. Right. Gotcha. Right. There could be a way to work back to whatever it was if you have a conversation, or if you're willing to do that. If you do and shit don't change, now you have a decision to make.
SPEAKER_03Right. So can the same conversation be had with the three-inch dick person?
SPEAKER_12Like we uh like a conversation, like, hey, you know, you're not gonna if you choose to be with the so in a situation, if you choose to be with the three-inch person, there's a conversation that has there's a conversation, but if you already automatically, like, yeah, they say go work, there's nothing to be said. Go your way, I'm going my way.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, if the three-incher has checked every other box except that one, and you really, really, really want to try to make it work with that one. You're gonna take your three inches and you're gonna tape it onto your three-inch tongue and then onto your three-inch finger, and then you're gonna use all nine.
Sex, Compatibility, And Dealbreakers
SPEAKER_12Yo, get the fuck out of here. But yeah, like if somebody chooses, if somebody chooses to stay with the three-inch person, they cannot be a dick afterwards. Excuse me, they can't be an asshole. Oh shit. You can't be a bad person. Jesus. Oh shit. And then all of a sudden be like, you know what, this is whatever. Like, then you should have just let it go.
SPEAKER_13Like understand, this is not shaming any man with a clip.
SPEAKER_12Right. Because what might not work for for us on this podcast may work for somebody else. Like Tiffany Haddish. Right.
SPEAKER_13So I wonder if she was talking about common.
SPEAKER_03So Jennifer is okay with it? Is it what you're saying? Well, she screams anyway.
SPEAKER_13That bitch always yelling. You don't know if it's for that or that.
SPEAKER_11So, anyways, oh shit.
SPEAKER_03Jennifer, we're gonna be on your show one day.
SPEAKER_12Um and I'm gonna ask you why you always screaming. She's gonna scream. So, um, we're just gonna real quick. No, go ahead, finish that thought. Sean, you was about to say something.
SPEAKER_13I was just gonna say sometimes it also depends on the other partner and where their walls are built. That's true. That's very true. That is true. That is very true. I mean, it could be three long and and six wad. Yeah.
SPEAKER_11And if you still ain't feeling it, that's on you.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, yeah, that's true. So to take into account three inches, depending on the girth, that that kind of that would uh that's different.
SPEAKER_03The girth. So you could deal with a three inch with girth.
SPEAKER_12It depends on how big the girth is, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Okay. And a good thrust.
SPEAKER_12Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Them hips. So the saying the motion of the ocean would come in play at that point.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, yeah, it does. Like I said, like we said a couple, was it last week or a couple weeks before? Like somebody with a big, somebody with like a nine, ten inch can have the biggest whatever and don't know what the fuck they're doing with it. Absolutely. So now you just jabbing, like, go sit down. That's that hurt.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. All right. All right.
SPEAKER_12All right.
SPEAKER_03All right, Tiff. Tiffany.
SPEAKER_12So karma took a bit, but it came back around.
SPEAKER_02Karma.
SPEAKER_12George Zimmerman is reportedly without employment, homeless, suffering mentally, and finding it challenging to find peace after shooting 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in 2012. Good. Hello. So thank you, ancestors, for doing your job.
SPEAKER_13George.
SPEAKER_03That's Trayvon. Trayvon's spirit is putting that man through it.
SPEAKER_12He probably showing up every day.
SPEAKER_03Putting that man through it.
SPEAKER_12Wasn't we just talking about this short? I was like, if I die by the hands of somebody else, they will I will haunt them forever. Until you do right, Bobby. I would literally be like, you know what? I don't even want to go nowhere. I'm gonna stay right here. I will haunt the shit. And when they pass, I my spirit moves on to the next kid. So your children's children, grandkids, all that. I'm haunting them. Because of whoever unalived me.
SPEAKER_03Until you do right by me.
SPEAKER_12Yeah.
SPEAKER_13George. George. Poor George. I am so surprised that George has had the opportunity to still walk around these streets.
SPEAKER_03I'm telling you. Man.
SPEAKER_13It's very surprising to me, considering how things play out with others.
SPEAKER_12That's probably why his ass is homeless and don't have a job.
SPEAKER_13He was in that apartment complex with the chick that burnt her boyfriend gloves. Now he's displaced. He was the boyfriend.
SPEAKER_12That'd be crazy shit. She needs her black heart remote.
SPEAKER_03Yo.
SPEAKER_13Rest in peace, Treyvon. Yeah, rest in peace. Um so there's an interesting story. That was already interesting. There's an interesting story in In Chicago.
SPEAKER_14The sha.
SPEAKER_13Where a desperate husband is pleading for his wife, his special education wife, who no, she's not special. She vanished without a trace. So in Bronzeville, Chicago, a beloved special education teacher by the name of Linda Brown, 53 years old, was last seen in the 4500 block of Martin Luther King Jr. Drive. Police say that she was driving her blue 2021 Honda Civic. She was a nurse? A teacher. Heading out for what should have been a routine weekly acupuncture appointment, but she never made it. Her husband, Antoine Brown, who spoke with NBC Chicago the night before was normal and the kind of night nobody would ever think could be their last together. The couple stayed in, watched a movie, and Linda turned in early. He says he woke up at 8 45 a.m. and she was gone. The mystery is unsolved. He sounds so distraught. He just wants to find his wife. Where could Linda be?
SPEAKER_03Linda, listen.
SPEAKER_13How did they had a great night the night before?
SPEAKER_08Need my wife home, man. Seriously.
SPEAKER_01Her husband standing with her family tonight, reaching out in hopes that somebody is sitting there.
SPEAKER_08Is that Linda? She had a phone. She had a purse. That nigga did it. But you don't know where she is. You know, nigga.
SPEAKER_01Brown was a little bit more than a little bit of a little bit of Wicker Park.
SPEAKER_14That little trying to fake cry. Whoa, buddy.
SPEAKER_12Linda. Look. Wait, she left with the kids, he said.
SPEAKER_01CX5-7470.
SPEAKER_08Axe her, do she need help? She has her phone. Her phone is still ringing. So if you do see her, please remember. I'm just shaking. How he know her phone's still ringing?
SPEAKER_11He was calling it.
SPEAKER_03It didn't automatically go to voicemail. That way that white lady died.
SPEAKER_13Black people doing white things. That's why black blackface.
SPEAKER_12Yo. Black whack. He couldn't he couldn't do better.
SPEAKER_13I would have a home. I would have still calling the phone.
SPEAKER_12Asked him, asked him if she's okay. Cause I'm calling the phone work. I keep calling.
SPEAKER_13So I would have stalled you until I could shed a tear properly. Yo, for real. If I had did it. I'm not saying he did it. I'm just saying.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, he ain't mad about it. Clearly. Linda. He's not distraught.
SPEAKER_03Linda looked like she she was spewing some shit to him. He just got fed up, you black monkey son of a p.
SPEAKER_12I guarantee you. I guarantee you, Linda was not saying shit to him. Did we watch the same guy?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that my fucking.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, she wasn't talking back to him.
SPEAKER_03Oh, it was one of those.
SPEAKER_13Linda.
SPEAKER_12She probably didn't get home from school grading them paper sacks. Linda got accuracy. Because first of all, wait, wait. So here's what's confusing, right? The story started off with, I'm just gonna go. The story started, he said she got up in the morning when he woke up, she was gone. Correct? So how the fuck do he know that she went to get acupuncture?
SPEAKER_13Her normal routine was to go.
SPEAKER_12Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_13Because I'm about to say, ah, you don't fucked up, nigga. No, her normal routine was the acupuncture. Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_12Nah, he said that up. Allegedly. Allegedly, yes. Because and I'm not trying to do that because it's And a Shah. I I hate to see y'all folk. I hate to see y'all folk go down, but you chose the wife you chose.
SPEAKER_11And then Keisha.
SPEAKER_03Keisha. She down there, she down there with Keisha.
SPEAKER_14We gotta get out of here, Keisha.
SPEAKER_12Keisha ain't down there.
SPEAKER_03Keisha Keisha gone. She left her down there.
SPEAKER_12Keisha was never there. Keisha saw him with the room.
SPEAKER_03Yo, Keisha ran track and couldn't get away from that shit. Come on now. Got legs like a mule. You can run.
SPEAKER_12I thought he drugged her with the thing. She was a business. Out of bus. At a bus that. Shit. Nah, you look guilty, my bruh. Just stop doing stop doing the interviews. What was his name was, Leroy? Yep. Please, that's not his name, right? What's his name? No, it was not Leroy. No, his name was.
SPEAKER_03Leroy and Linda.
SPEAKER_12Because I was about to say Leroy did it. His name was Antoine.
SPEAKER_10Oh, Antoine did it!
SPEAKER_13No, sir. You know what?
SPEAKER_12No, sir. Oh, I hope they find a Linda. Antoine?
SPEAKER_13Antoine Dotson.
SPEAKER_12Well, clearly Linda didn't listen. He hid his wife. I got a question. It was just a question. Which celebrity looks like they always smell good?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_12Which is impossible because a lot of them celebrities look like they stink.
SPEAKER_03They smell like cocaine.
SPEAKER_13Yeah. Does cocaine have a scent? I have no idea.
SPEAKER_12That's what I was about to ask because I was like, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_13We don't crack does. Maybe the pink bag. Which celebrities look like they always smell good.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I wish this was like. Let me run some names on. Y'all let me know if they uh smell good or not.
SPEAKER_12I'll trust you with the hat.
SPEAKER_11Glenda Goldberg.
SPEAKER_02Whoopi Gold.
SPEAKER_13Whoopi look like backwards. Cigarettes and burns.
SPEAKER_03She looked like she smelled like a whole lot of big Robert Downey Jr.
SPEAKER_13Um, he smells like Axe Body Spray.
SPEAKER_12Like the movie. Because this Robert, yes. Old Robert. He stinked sweating crazy. Billy Bob Thornton. He stink. He stink. He smells like he's been smoking kids.
SPEAKER_13He looked dirty too.
SPEAKER_03Hemworth brothers. What's the name Chris Hemworth?
SPEAKER_13Oh. Are you talking about like his brother? Yeah, I think they stink too. They smell like poodles.
SPEAKER_12Sweat.
SPEAKER_13I think they smell like zest. Zest's really clean. Yeah.
SPEAKER_12Without a rag.
SPEAKER_03Uh uh. Who is the chick that played uh Laura Croft? Uh definitely stink. Angelina Jolie. She was married to Billy Bob. She stink. Smell like semen. That's just wrong. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know you. I'm sorry. Carrie Washington.
SPEAKER_10Oh my God. That's hilarious. Oh my God, that's hilarious.
SPEAKER_03Davis. Um Viola Davis. Viola Davis.
SPEAKER_12She looks like she smelled like hair grease. Hair grease? Blue magic? I'm about to say Dax, but yeah, blue magic is good too. And a hot cone? No, she got an afro. So it's just straight hair grease. Denzel Washington.
SPEAKER_13Denzel smell looks like he smells like cigars.
SPEAKER_12For me. He likes he smells like cigars.
SPEAKER_13Cigars, but the the yes, like a older gentleman's old time cologne.
SPEAKER_12So he smelled like my dad.
SPEAKER_13Yeah. But with a hint of cigar. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Sexy red. Shit.
SPEAKER_11You can't keep doing this. That's twice. That is fucking twice.
SPEAKER_03Megan is stallion. Toes.
SPEAKER_13No, Megan looks like she's like something out of Bath and Body Works.
SPEAKER_12With a little hit of cocoa butter.
SPEAKER_13Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_12What you say? I know you said some shit.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, what did you say? What did you say? Y'all hear it.
SPEAKER_03Okay, I'm gonna rattle off a couple more. Michael B. Jordan.
SPEAKER_13His breath look like it stinks. His breath just looks like his mouth is still. Yeah.
SPEAKER_12So, but it stink like that pasty. That pasty, yeah. But he probably I would say he smelled like Juju Virginia? No. No. No. His breath, I think his breath stinks, but I'm saying him personally. I feel like he probably smells like um Calvin Klein.
SPEAKER_13Like the old one, like CK1? Yes. CK1? I feel like Morris Chestnut smells good.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Yeah. Chat with Bozeman. Death.
SPEAKER_13And that's our gems.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, hang it up.
SPEAKER_13Wow.
SPEAKER_12Stop it.
SPEAKER_13Did you go there?
SPEAKER_12He did. That's crazy. I'm sorry. Do that to the other people, not ours.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, right, right, right. Uh Uma Thurman. She stinks.
Missing Teacher In Chicago
SPEAKER_12Like wet. She looked like balls. Yeah. Yeah. Like laundry that been sitting, right? Yeah. That mildew smell. Mm-hmm. Beyonce. Beyonce look like Vaseline and baby oil. What kind of baby oil? Not Diddy's. Jay-Z. Dior Savage. I feel like he just looked dirty. I know his breath stink, but I feel like he smelled good.
SPEAKER_03How do you know his breath stink?
SPEAKER_12No, people certain people you look at their lips and how they look, it look like they breath stink. I don't know his breath stink. I'm just saying it looks like his breath stink. But I think he probably smells good. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Last one. Dolly Parton. Baby powder.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, that's a good. Yeah. I was gonna say either I would go with the baby powder or um Chanel number five.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Death becomes her. The movie. Wasn't that the thing they had? Chanel number five?
SPEAKER_13So you guys um you know Tim Allen.
SPEAKER_12Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_13Her yep. Would you say that you're a fan of Tim Allen?
SPEAKER_03No. No.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_03You never watched his uh I did, but I like the I like the guy across the fence that never showed his face.
SPEAKER_13Yeah, Wilson. Tim Allen did an interview with Bill Mayer.
SPEAKER_14White people doing Oh, too early. My bad.
SPEAKER_13Where he speaks about how he feels that DEI is the reason for his the death of his career. No. And how and he ridicules uh diversity in today's TV sitcoms. And why do TV shows and sitcoms have to have be diverse and have a black actor in it just to appease um certain demographics and that it brings down the the show by trying to be inclusive and that that's what he feels like killed his career? And um what career? His 90s career?
SPEAKER_03Well, you just want all the all the people to watch you and not want to watch their own people?
SPEAKER_13He feels like why can't a show, even if it's predominantly white, just be funny without people feeling like, oh no, why isn't there no black uh comedians or actors in this show? And then when they do that to appease that demographic, it brings down.
SPEAKER_12He feels that's what people are saying. Well, that's because he's misinformed and he's an idiot. Don't be coming for us because your career fucking sucked and it flopped after fucking Santa Claus 2.
SPEAKER_13Specifically saying that uh not everything in America has to look like Angelina Jolie's Christmas card because she has a bunch of um minority ignorant.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, I was I'm just saying you're racist without saying you're racist, bitch. Like, shut the fuck up. And that's why your career's not gonna go nowhere. Ain't you half dead anyway?
SPEAKER_13That part.
SPEAKER_12Like, why are you worried? What do you smell like? Shit. A piece of shit. Now you can hit the button.
SPEAKER_14White people doing white things.
SPEAKER_12That's fighting. I've never seen somebody blame other people because they suck in their career.
SPEAKER_13But for Tim Allen, he wasn't to be a very successful sitcom actor. It's because of us. Like, he's had a very successful career. He was Woody. Even, I mean, Woody. Yes. No.
SPEAKER_12No, that was Tom Hanks who was woody. Don't do that.
SPEAKER_13Oh, the the Buzz Lightyear. Buzz Lightyear. Yeah, that's right. Um, the Santa Claus franchise.
SPEAKER_12Like But I said I said he lost it after the two-flopped.
SPEAKER_13For him to feel like as a privileged, rich ass white man who has had a very successful career, that his career has somehow been tainted because they've allowed minorities to uh be in the same space as him.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_13Your time passed, dog. Nobody, you're not relevant anymore. Your time passed. If anybody knows like Tim Allen's history, like he was a coke dealer. He was. He probably still is. Or like he was dealing to diverse people. Yeah. You made your money off of them. And now you're mad. But you got a problem working with them. It's just really sick. And it's so funny how now people are really, really showing their racism. Their racism.
SPEAKER_12You'd be surprised at how many ironing it every morning on their shirts when they get dressed for work. Like, I'm go ahead, show us who you are.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_03What's the word he just said, Nene? Nene. What word did he just say? Ironing. Yeah. All right.
SPEAKER_11Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_11Mm-hmm. Wow. That was one day.
SPEAKER_03Nene had a problem trying to say that word one day.
SPEAKER_12She was like, Yeah, it was a concussion protocol.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_13Well, now we're on your favorite part of the show. Oh. He forgot what that was.
SPEAKER_06Pull on stems, the wall got the ball, run out. And tell the friend.
SPEAKER_03I'm sick and tired. Oh, okay, my bad. Alright, uh my gem number one. I found this interesting. They said the worst feeling ever is not knowing whether you should wait or give up. What do y'all think about that? Cause that is a sticky little spot to be in, right?
SPEAKER_13It is, but I almost feel like, at least for me, the worst feeling is if I gave up and then realized I should have waited.
SPEAKER_03That's what I'm saying. Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_12So giving up is is for me. Cause I always feel like is giving up? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Not in in between, like I should wait.
SPEAKER_12Uh like that thought crosses your mind, but then it's like, nah, I'm gonna wait because like just having patience, period.
SPEAKER_13Yeah.
SPEAKER_12Um at least at least once you wait and find out, you know. If you just give up and then find out, like, oh, you should have stayed because of this, this, this, that's worse. That you like, fuck.
SPEAKER_13Because I feel like even though the blow may like it may sting if you waited and things didn't work you want it, I feel like it stings harder if you build that fire and you don't know what would have happened, and then you missed an opportunity. Gotcha. Makes sense.
SPEAKER_03I I've been a victim of this um glizzy goblin.
SPEAKER_12Yep, because I've seen it with chips, actually. Chips. I've seen you global global.
SPEAKER_03Yo when your joke goes wrong.
SPEAKER_10On the next uh uh gym number two.
SPEAKER_03Does anyone else still screenshot their order confirmation even though they've been sent an email intake?
SPEAKER_12I have to finish. I do.
SPEAKER_03Trust issues.
SPEAKER_12I do.
SPEAKER_03I did it for me. I did it the other day.
Which Celebs Seem To Smell Good
SPEAKER_13I do it all the time. So what's funny is I don't. Screenshot it. I just don't close it and I just open a new tab tab so that it's always there.
SPEAKER_12So here's the thing I do all of that and I still screenshot it just in case the tab closes. Yo, that's how bad I am in if I have the opportunity to print.
unknownI'm pretty good.
SPEAKER_03I'm bad. Make a PDF of I make a PDF of work.
SPEAKER_12It's so bad. Like I will go back through my phone and be like, why do I have this? And I still can't like delete it, even though everything is done over with. It won't even ever come back up. I haven't fucking deleted it yet.
SPEAKER_03I make a PDF of everything. I got a file on my computer for everything. Everything. It's so stupid. No, customer service, but these motherfuckers nowadays, it's like you gotta prove your fucking innocence with these people. Like you're in a court of law. Yeah, I swear I'm dealing with this credit. Yo, I hate this credit card company. I hate them with a passion. I fucking hate them. If you got a credit one credit card, I know you're pissed with these people.
SPEAKER_13Why would they do?
SPEAKER_03First of all, they for okay. So they locked my car. I was making a purchase for Christmas um to grab my daughter some like um panties. Uh they don't need those. What? I just got waiting. I don't know. I get it they them.
SPEAKER_13Uh the pronouns and the size.
SPEAKER_03Fruit of the pronouns.
SPEAKER_11The fruits. Wait. Fruit of the pro shut up. Fruit of the nouns.
SPEAKER_13Fruit of the pros.
SPEAKER_03Anyway, uh I I was getting them a gift card with um through this app that I could, and then so I I was able to get one. And then I was like, oh shit, I got two daughters. Let me get two. So I was going to get the second one, and I couldn't. It was like decline. I was like, ain't no fucking way my shit is declined. And then I go on the app, I got a zero balance. I'm like, ain't no way I just paid this bill. In full. Like it was a suspicious purchase that you I guess so, but usually they will call, like, usually credit card companies will call, like, hey, are you making this purchase? Or send something saying, Are you making this purchase? Alright, cool. Go ahead. They locked it. No, nothing. So I called them, like, yo, the fuck's going on? Uh, we see you trying to, you know, make a purchase. Uh, and for security purposes, we had it. I was like, so what's the security purpose? Like, I already made a purchase before of the same thing. So what's different with this one? Oh, it was just suspicious in our offices. And I I got so pissed. I was like, yo, what the fu So long story short, uh three days of dealing with the motherfuckers on the phone. I re I recorded, yes. So they didn't just unlock it? No. I have to send they want me to send my ID.
SPEAKER_13You didn't send anything to lock it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They want to send send them my ID and like uh a utility bill. I'm like, for what? Like for what? Like, I've been with you guys for 10 years. Like, like, what the fuck you need all this shit for?
SPEAKER_14Yeah, that is crazy.
SPEAKER_03Then I send it to them. It's still locked. And I'm like, yo, I sent yo. So I sent them uh uh invoice that they like a bill they sent me. It's their bill, right? It has my name and address and on it, because they was like, you gotta send something with your name and address. Gotta be a utility bill. I was like, well, if you just need a name and address, I can send you whatever I want. I'm not gonna send. So I send you your bill to me. It's a credit one bill with my name and address. I send it to them. They didn't accept the shit.
SPEAKER_13Really?
SPEAKER_03And I'm saying, I was like, so what policies, what's your policy when verify verification with utility bills? Well, it it's our policy, so they wouldn't answer my question. I was like, you're not answering my question. I I recorded the whole damn thing. And they was like, it's just our policy. It's like, so what is does your policy say about utility bills? So I I end up getting to the to the actual manager, and they was like, Well, we just gotta verify that you actually live in the place you live with a utility bill. I was like, your bill has exactly what you're looking for, so it doesn't make any sense. Why can't you use that? It has to be a utility bill. Three days going on with this shit. Still locked to this day. Since Christmas. Yes. That's crazy. I did the shit on Christmas.
SPEAKER_13So did you send them a utility bill?
SPEAKER_03I end up I have to yeah, I end up sending it at the beginning of this week. Still locked till this day.
SPEAKER_12They're trying to get their money back.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That's wild. I can't I can't I can't stand these motherfuckers. That's wild. Yeah, that is crazy. So I I went on a whole search the uh the Better Business Bureau website. They have horrible reviews on um on the site. So that whole that whole company, they're they're they're located in Las Vegas, but everybody talk like this. They talk like this. I was like, where y'all where y'all from? We're located in Las Vegas. Like, no the fuck you ain't Habib. No the fuck you ain't. Get the fuck out of here. Every last one of them, every time I call them, that that's that's what they sound like. Yeah, and I'm like, yo, come on. No, that's crazy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_13Anyway, before they lock it, they should at least have reached out. Right. Exactly. And that's what I said to you. Are you trying to any other card?
SPEAKER_03If I'm in a different state, they was like, hey, is this you in this state? Right. Yes, that's me. I'm using my card. Okay, cool. Not nothing like that. They just locked my shit. That's crazy. Fuck it. Yeah, I can't stand it. Sign for a class action lawsuit, right? Man. Oh, I I so I recorded them, right? So I was like, I was like, just to let you know, I'm recording this conversation. So we cannot continue with this conversation. If the phone is recorded, I was like, are you recording me for training purposes? So I was like, so what's the I'm training myself too? Like, I'm we cannot go further. I was like, alright, well, tell me what I need to know, and I'll have to let you know. Uh uh, you got to stop recording. I was like, alright, I will once you tell me.
SPEAKER_13I'm like, I'm recording because this is an attempt to collect the debt.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, for real. Anyway, it's it's so much more, but it's just it's too long. Anyway, uh gym number three. If your house is going to change the way I smell, don't invite me. I want to smell like curry motherfuckers in Las Vegas.
SPEAKER_12Don't do that to Curry.
SPEAKER_11His uncomfortable laugh. He's like Did I go too far?
SPEAKER_10No, fuck them.
SPEAKER_03Fuck them. Anyway. No, that's true though. Yeah. If you if I go in there, I smell like raid.
SPEAKER_12They must be talking about their grandmother house, because you know, grandma houses always have an ex a distinctive smell.
SPEAKER_03Grandmothers are like 30 now.
SPEAKER_13That is true.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that is true. You smell like uh fucking glade. Very true. KY jelly and shit.
SPEAKER_13I like glade.
SPEAKER_03I ain't say that was wrong with glades.
SPEAKER_13Of the glade wall things. Yeah. It's more like bead oil. Bead.
SPEAKER_09Wait, that's my gems.
SPEAKER_06Put long stems before the wall back.
SPEAKER_03That's all I got. Oh. A mess. Anything y'all want to say before we get up out of here?
SPEAKER_13Eat more than a three-inch meat stick.
SPEAKER_12Yeah. Do them Kegels if you have a three-inch meat stick.
SPEAKER_03Do Kegels actually work?
SPEAKER_12Mm-hmm. It's it's a muscle down there.
SPEAKER_03So if you do Kegels all day for a month straight, that's a big ass muscle.
SPEAKER_12Yeah, you you snatching your shit? Your grip game would be crazy.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah. Alright. And do whatever Sean's doing.
SPEAKER_11That's a hoodie.
SPEAKER_03That's a three-inch quick slurp. Oh my god. That's what you're doing. What you call those, um Where's the music? What you call those uh those things, those things that came in the uh those little cans, the little hot mini hot dogs.
SPEAKER_12The Vienna sauce?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, there you go. There you go. You ever eat those? You like those? Those are not three inches. What they're they're smaller. You enjoy those.
SPEAKER_12Not at his busy.
SPEAKER_03Oh, we like to thank our haters. Thank you. Y'all hear that?
unknownY'all hear that?
SPEAKER_03Thank you, haters. We love our plus ones and have a good change in my game. Love your standard here until next Wednesday.
SPEAKER_07You know little things like cream, no dude. Ice got mommy standard by me with a snow too. Drop top porch box and get it like a full boot. Keep a wardrobe for every steak that I roll through. Young men of full boot. Don't take a chance to take 50 inches away from my hands. Don't do niggas got it for that. Make my way to a test, you can't play it.
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